LETTER TO THE EDITOR: BEN WALLACE RESPONDS!

Dear Mr. Peisch,
Let me first say that I am a big fan of iheartceltics.blogspot.com. Everyday I am dissapointed to find that they have still not made an iheartpistons.blogspot.com.
While I enjoy your work, I took exception to one of your latest articles titled "The Ben Wallace Situation," and I am here to address it. I read the blogs, I hear the rumors. Ive heard of this Ben Wallace. He shoots lay-ups at 40%, and free throws from his arse......WELL I AM BIG BEN WALLACE! And Im hear to set the record straight!
Many like to attack my offensive game. They call me an offensive liability, but in what was considered an off year for me I shot a Detroit career high of 51 % with 1 turnover a game. For an offensive "liability" I tend to be pretty reliable on offense. Yes I am a career 42% free throw shooter, but seriously who gives two craps? Some of the best players of all time Bill Russel, Shaquille O'Neal, Tim Duncan, Antoine Walker all struggled to crack .500 from the free throw line. They all have rings, and guess what Peisch, I got one too sucka.
The reality if the situation is we live in a harsh world filled with discrimination. People discriminate against gender, they discriminate against race and they espcially discriminate against defense. Half of a basketball game is made up of defense. Sadly, it is also the half of the game that people find boring. When the NBA hands Steve Nash MVP awards, do they ever stop to consider that he plays defense worse than I shoot free throws? If they had accurate statistics to represent defense, Nash and MVP might never be uttered in the same sentence.
We can argue the emphasis of defense or the interpretation of my stats for years, but the real reason I wrote in is to discuss your chastizing the Chicago Bulls for signing me to a max contract. I hate to break it to you Ben, but your argument has more holes in it than Scalabrine's underpants. How dare you compare Tyson Chandler to Ben Wallace. That punk usn't fit to sniff my oversized jock. We're both angry, defensive-minded poor free throw shooting big men, but the simularities end there. The guy is soft. He makes rice pudding look like steel. He plays hard when he feels like it. I am the beast from the east. I play hard all the time and if I'm not playing hard I'll just refuse to play (ask Flip about that). When was the last time you saw Tyson Chandler get in Ron Artests face? The last time Artest came after Chandler he was spotted moments later on the bench weeping into Piatkowski's bossom. I wasnt going to let Artest punk me out, I took him out son! Sure it may have caused one of the biggest riots in NBA history, but unlike half the people in the league I acutally play with pride and dignity.
Lots of people say is Ben Wallace worth 15 million? And to those people I say start running because Ben Wallace is going to track you down and pimp slap you in the face. Tyson Chandler makes 11 million a year to come of the bench and play hard when he feels like it. Nene just got signed to a 6 year 60 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!!! He played aproximately 2 game last year!You guys have been paying Raef Lafrenz almost 15 million dollars to ice his knees. Vin Baker makes 15 million dollars to drink Jose Cuervo outside the Harford Civic Center. Must I go on? Eddy Curry makes 10 million for being fat. Adonal Foyle makes 10 million to suck balls for a living. Seeing how I dont suck, play hard, stay healthy, am not an alcoholic, and oh yeah, am one of the best defensive players of all time...I think 15 milllion is fair.
As for the biggest flaw in your argument, you made yourself in what you call "The Ben Wallace Situation" part II. You trashed Joe D and the Pistons for how much they will suck with McDysse, Naz Muhammad and Kelvin Kato as my replacement and its true. The Pistons will not make it to the conference finals next year, they won't win 60 games, they certaintly wont win the Championship, and the reason they wont achieve any of those great accomplishments is simply because I won't be on the team. The ironic thing is that they probably won't score as many points without me either (cause guess who leads the league in offensive boards).
I am big Ben Wallace. The man who single handedly ended the Lakers dynasty. I have more defensive player of the year awards than you have hairs on your chest. I can make Dan Dickeau crap his pants by just looking at him funny. I make more on Fear the Fro wigs than you'll make in your life buddy. You sir are a disgrace to the name BEN and if I ever see your milky @ss on the street you will be pimp slapped. Just remember when I bring home a world title next year with Chicago I will give no shout outs to iheartceltics.blogspot.com...Well maybe to that red headed writer Nic Hansen, I really love his stuff.
FEAR THE FRO!
Ben Wallace