JACKSON, GRANT CUT!

Yesterday, the Celtics finalized their roster by cutting Brain Grant and iheartceltics.com favorite Luke Jackson. The Celtics had to trim their roster down to 15 players by the 6 P.M. deadline to meet the regular season roster limit. In a related story, Boston city officials announced this morning that there is tissue supply shortage in the greater Boston area. We hear at iheartceltics.com encourage all Celtics fans to please use your sleeve. Most devistated by yesterdays shocking announcement was Danny Ainge who realized at 6:04 that Jackson was white and that he would now have to find some other cooky scheme to fill his "useless white guy" quota, and the Kandi man who will either have to smoke weed alone or make pot brownies and settle for Scalabrine's company. One of Scal's nicknames in college was the "gonja goo-ball" as he was notorious for getting high out of his face without knowing it as his friends would pump him full of gonja-laced baked goods for their own amusement.
Iheartceltics.com would formally like to wish Brian and Luke the best of luck and thank them for the combined 7 minutes of quality pre-season basketball they contributed to the organization.