Veal or No Veal?
So you are a literate American. Like all other literate Americans you have read (and re-read) the blogs of Brian Scalabrine and Emily the Celtics Dancer. But if you were given a single passage from one of the two blogs, could you tell whose blog it was from? More over coke and pepsi, there is a new taste test sweeping America. I invite you to identify the following quotations as coming from A) Scal's Blog, or B) Emily the Celtics Dancer's Blog. All of the quotes are real, you can look them up if you don't believe me. The answer key is at the end of the game. Now I ask you, my child, Veal or no Veal?
Quote #1:
"I should probably give you a little background on me first so you can appreciate the difficulty of me learning to booty pop. I'm a Caucasian girl/guy from a middle-class suburb in Southern California...Run here, kick, run there, and turn. Oh my gosh, I just did a move from another routine. Legs apart, bend your knees deeply, both hands on your right hip, and pop it, pop it, hit, end."
Quote #2
"We found out that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the optimal breakfast food for performance - also not recommended for weekend warriors. I just hope I can stay lean with my new diet, because some fans might think that I look like a weekend warrior!"
Quote #3
"I think to myself that I hope my mom is proud of me. I hope she didn't notice my mistakes. And I have to remind myself: Emily/Brian, elections are imminent, wars and genocides are occurring all over the world, and you are worried about your smeared lip-gloss?"
Quote #4
"I'm one of those guys/gals that can have an impact on a game but not necessarily fill up the boxscore."
Quote #5
"...And for me and my boy Dan Dickau that means one thing - we need to find a movie theater."
Quote #6
"I think I hear people clapping and yelling. This is good. Maybe people like us. We hold one, two, three. I jump up and wave as we run off the court. I feel a little silly waving at the crowd since no one waved at me first. But I guess that is what you do when you run off a court. Oh boy, I'm running in a different direction than the other girls/players."
Quote #7
"As far as off the court goes, I recently took in some candlepin bowling, you know the bowling with the little pins and smaller ball, but unfortunately I took the L. It was myself, Raef LaFrentz and Brian Doo."
Quote #8
"I'm finally scheduled to take the GRE this week. This is also Booty Pop week, as I've officially declared it. We are learning a routine to the Miss New Booty mix, and let me tell you, there is a whole lot of booty shaking going on. And I can't decide which is more difficult for me, cramming 100 vocabulary words in my head and trying to remember math rules that I haven't looked at in over a decade, or perfecting the art of the Booty Pop."
Quote #9
"So when you think of my blog, think of Dragon Voice Recognition Software. "
Quote #10
"So, if you see me on the court, will someone please point me in the right direction next time I seem lost? I'd greatly appreciate it. And by game 32, I just might have figured it out."
Quote #11
"Just as he finishes interviewing me, a man in a floor seat hands me a program and asks me to autograph next to my picture. I sign my first name and put a smiley face next to it. I'm not quite sure why I thought it would be nice to include a smiley face, since I'm not really a smiley face kind."
Quote #12
"Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo.Brian Doo."
Answer Key: 1) Veal, 2) No Veal (Emily), 3) Veal, 4) No Veal, 5) No Veal, 6) Veal, 7) No Veal, 8) Veal, 9) No Veal, 10) No Veal, 11) Veal, 12) No Veal
How'd you do? Self-Evaluate Sucka!
0 Right: Howie Mandel, please never read this blog again.
1-5 Right: Congratulations pea brain, you have the decision-making skills of Doc Rivers.
6-9 Right: You might not fill up the box score, but you certainly have an impact on the game.
10-12 Right : Pop it, pop it, hit, end. You make booty pop look easy.
posted by Sullivan at
2:20 PM
7 Comments:
Your opinion on the following item stating that you Celts fans are way too hard on Scalabrine?
http://www.startribune.com/511/story/848826.html
Doc Rivers is very ticked off at you right now!
I say that whoever wrote that jackass article is not only a jackass but an idiot and a disgrace to humanity. If the Red Sox signed a player from their Triple-A Hot Dog Eating affiliate instead of Pawtucket, and then used the guy as their utility infielder, then signed him to a multi-year deal instead of some kickass Dominican, the Boston press would be going ballistic.
Scalabrine sucks, and I think that writer is the unemployed schoolteacher that lives with him.
If you ask me Steve ASS-Burner is probably one of those "Ginger" freaks who has a red-head man crush on the veal.
Not only is defending Scal by comparing him to Mark Madson PATHETIC, but news flash: Scalabrine barley gets his fat-ass on the court. Hustle or no hustle, paying 15 million for a practice player is rediculous.
Quite frankly I would rather pay $15 million for dragon voice recognition software. The argument in that article is fundamentally flawed. Celtics' fans have a long history of cheering role players: Walter McCarty is one of the most beloved Celtics of the past 20 years, and he barely did anything besides sing the national anthem for his last 3 seasons with the Celtics. Chris Herron was cheered every time he got off the bench, even when he got off the bench to crash his Hyundai into a Fall River Dunkin' Donuts at 3 AM. Eric Williams was a fiercely respected Celtic despite not "filling up the box score".
The fact of the matter is, Scalabrine has not shown the effort, team loyalty, or quite frankly, the skill that any of those other below average NBA players do, and therefore, he gets booed.
So Doc Rivers is mad at Celtics fans, so what? He defends Scal because the two of them are in the same boat. Just look at his defense of Veal: "He knows there's a lot of negative vibes around him when he comes in. He hears the boos and all that stuff, and as a player that can be no fun." Sounds familiar, huh Doc?
I'm not saying it is the most constructive thing to boo your own team. Actually, booing your own team is terrible. The thing is, that isn't what is happening. Only certain members of the team, those members who are not helping the team at all, are being booed.
Aschburner says a lot of stupid things.... I saw this item in the Mpls paper and immediately thought "Aschburner wrote this knowing most Celtics fans will never see it."
Sullivan,
Those are some great points. Has there ever been a Celtics role player that the Celtics fans DIDN'T cheer for? Tyus Edney? Milt Palacio? Sherman Douglas?
Walter McCarty was more popular than Pierce, and McCarty dribbled like a five-year-old picking up a basketball for the first time.
In an Irish town, if you're a redheaded white dude that plays for the Celtics, you have to be atrocious to be hated. Scalabrine is atrocious.
Yeah dude, i whole-heartedly agree. I didn't even think of the red-headed part. We all know Tommy Heinsohn is partial to red-heads, and even he doesn't like scal. give 'em the hook!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home