How's the trade looking now?

If there were mulligans in basketball, the Celtics would have taken one after their disaster of a performance against the Timberwolves. In a game that essentially boiled down to Celtics starters versus their third string, the third string beat us like a rented mule.

However, I implore Celtics Nation to remain calm for the following reasons:

1) Ricky had an off-night and Wally played well. Advantage- Wally. This was the biggest part of the trade, and it appears that Wally will be an improvement over Davis. While Wally does not rebound or pass the ball as well as Ricky, he is far more consistant of a player, and he shoots much better. Wally is also a solid defensive player that may not get steals, but does not have the mental lapses that Ricky tends to have. In short, while Ricky's best performance is probably better than Wally's, Wally's average performance is siginifactly better than Ricky's.

2) Mark Blount could be expected to play well. When he has incentive, he is an excellent player. Unfortunately, he is a crybaby, a wuss, and he sucks at life, so that will not last long. What can the T-Wolves do to please that retarded giraffe that the Celtics didn't give him? He was given EVERYTHING by the Celtics (big contract, touches, and playing time) but he still behaved like a spoiled little girl. The best part was the postgame quote when he thought that he was the focus of the trade. Um... yeah... if by "focus of the trade" he means "the guy you'd give up for couple boxes of frozen hot dogs". How long before Blount starts to pout and destroy this team? I'll give him a week.

3) Big Al is turning into an excellent rebounder and is finally starting to show the excitement he had last season.

Now, I implore Celtics Nation to flip out for the following reasons:

1) Marcus Banks was incredible for the T-Wolves. Everything that Doc hated him for (shot selection, jump shot range, court sense, passing ability) turned out to be completely misunderestimated. Banks was stroking threes, passing the ball on the money for layups, and dominating the floor.

The Celtics drafted Banks with hopes of developing him. Here was their strategy:

a) Don't play him.
b) In the five minutes you give him a night, criticize the hell out of him publicly whenever he does something wrong.
c) Constantly make an example out of him.
d) Threaten to trade him ALL THE TIME, even trade him once before (it didn't go through, or course).
e) Make it clear that you were really, really disappointed that the aforementioned trade did not go through.
f) Don't pick up the option on his contract.

The Celtics never had any faith in Marcus Banks. Is there any surprise that Banks didn't have the learning curve we would have liked? Should he have played over Delonte? No... but could Delonte have spent some time at the '2' with Banks running the show? Did we ever TRY that?

Should he have played over ORIEN "6 TURNOVERS" GREEN AND DAN "SECURITY DETAIL" DICKAU?!? Mind-boggling. Did Dickau give you the intangibles that Marcus didn't? Is he a "team player" because he agreed to take one for the team and hang out with Brian Scalabrine on road trips?

If Marcus was bad for the locker room, why didn't we play him more and at least up his trade value? We basically traded Marcus, JReed, and two second-rounders for a first-round pick. Great. If this team is in need of something, it's more undeveloped young players. We're not getting any younger.

The silver lining is that first-round pick is good for trades in the future. Still, Danny and Doc blew it with Marcus, and hopefully it doesn't burn us like Chauncey, Joe Johnson, Rick Fox...

2) Perkins looked like a horse's ass out there. I don't need to go into too much detail here, because everyone knows I love Perk, but you'd think he'd be up for taking on an ex-teammate that used to talk smack behind his back all the time. Ouch. That couldn't have been good for the confidence. He as many fouls as he had points and rebounds combined.

3) Our bench is awful. We have a good sixth man in Jefferson, an occassional strong performance from a still-rehabbing Tony Allen, and then we go straight to a fat redhead that would get picked last for a pickup game at Harvard Elementary School if he showed up this afternoon in his Celtics jersey. It doesn't get any better than that- the only charge we get out of the rest of the bench is when Kandi Man gets tazered at a nightclub.

Overall?

The Celtics were poised to make a playoff run before the trade. It doesn't look that way now. Hopefully, this will make the Celtics better in the long run, but it's clear that the front office is looking forward to next year even though there is half of this season left to play. Hopefully, the Celts have a trick up their sleeve.

Timmmberrrrrrr! Celtics Fall Hard To New Look T-WOLVES

Blount Still Total A**-Hole
(Note: I had a photoshopped image of Mark Blount and a Giraffe that I could not get to upload but will try to get up soon)
Tonight was not a good day to be a Celtics fan. Only days after the T Wolves and C's swapped rosters, they went head to head in an ugly game full of emotion, egos, and hard feelings. Unfortunately, most of these feelings were stronger for the new members of the Timberwolves as they romped the Celtics all night long leading to a blow out victory. The story of the game was the "In your face!" play of Marcus Banks, Justin Reed, and Mark Blount. Unlike Ricky and Wally who both seemed content about their old and new roles, the three former Celtics were eager for some pay back. The hustle machine Justin Reed seemed irked that the Celtics chose the arguably "fat assed" Brian Scalabrine and the seldom used Ryan Gomes over the intensity and ability to run the floor that Justin Brought.
After being a member of the Celtics for 2 years, Marcus landed himself on Doc's naughty list. He was branded as un-coachable and immature before he ever received anything resembling legitimate playing time. While he often showed flashed of brilliance with his lock down defense and lightning quick speed, his inconsistent play of always attributed to immaturity rather than inconsistent playing time. Ironically enough, in Marcus' first game as a Timberwolf, they had the revelation to give him more playing time than he had ever received as a Celtics. The result: 20 point 6 assists in only 20 minutes. He torched his former teammates, relentlessly taking the ball to the hoop and even showing some range with his jumper. Banks had something to prove and prove it he did. By the end of the game every Celtics fan was having Chancy Billups flashbacks. Like Mr. Big Shot himself, Rick Fox, David Wesley, Joe Johnson, and numerous others, fans could be soon watching Marcus and KG rolling through the playoffs and thinking to themselves "Why can't we get players like these?"
Last and certainly least likable, there is the former Celtic who probably had the most to prove tonight. The despicable, repulsive, sinister, rat-faced, self-loathing, Mark Blount. A man once known to me as the hustle machine. A man who despite having stumps for hands, overcame his disability by working hard. This man won the Tommy Award night in and night out, even after a discouraged Celtics team lost their faithful leader Antoine Walker. When the Celtics got punished in the playoffs in 2004 by the Indiana Pacers, the ONLY and I mean ONLY bright spot was the relentless play of Mark Blount. Then he he joined the dark side. After earning his 6+ million dollar contract, he simply stopped trying. With the development of his offensive game he let his defensive game and rebounding slide. He sat on his money and went about as he pleased. When they traded away his best friend Walter McCarty, it got even worse. He became a cancer in the locker room and a real problem on the team leading to what seemed like random DNP's and his eventual benching for the season. By the time Blount was traded, he was despised by all. You know when Al Jefferson and Greg Dickerson have nothing good to say about you that you are in poor company.
As for tonight it was obvious what would happen. As soon as Blount was traded he would start trying again. After posting 28 points in the last game, Blount had 16 points 10 boards, and 4 blocks. The last time Blount had 10 rebounds, Jim O'Brian was telling Antoine to stop taking so many 2's. To make things worse every time Blount would hit a shot, he would skip down the court taunting the Celtics. He also went out of his way to tell Greg Dickerson how good it was to be on a team that appreciated him, a championship contending team, (?) and told Greg Dickerson it was an honor to be the focal piece of such a big trade when it was obvious to everyone, but Blount that Ricky was the Wally bait and he was the Kandi man bait.
While I glad Marcus finally got the chance he deserved, Justin Reed has found a home, and Ricky is happy in his new role as KG's sidekick, I wish the Timberwolves nothing, but the worst due to their selfish, sorry excuse for a back-up center. I would rather have 20 Kandi man's on my team than one Mark Blount, and you can quote me on that. I would like to give props to my homeboy Sullivan for coming up with his clever role- casting for Celtics players, but he forgot Mark Blount. So I thought about it and came up with the shockingly accurate comparison of the Giraffe. While Blount does have hands like hooves, and is certainly uglier, I will give Mark props and say he probably has better basketball skills. I would still take the giraffe 9 times out of 10, because as the Timberwolves will soon find out, he may be funky, but Mark Blount is not a team player.

Love Hurts

So my favorite Celtic and future husband Arthur Lemarcus Banks III was traded to Minnesota last week. I can’t help but wonder what Danny Ainge is thinking. Sure, Wally Szczerbiak is a respectable player and I welcome him to the Celtics with open arms, but Bank’s speed and agility on the court is irreplaceable. In my opinion, Banks could drive the ball to the hoop better than any other of his Celtic teammates. Yes, Paul Pierce has had some beautiful lay-ups this season, but Banks delivers the ball to the hoop with a certain excitement and creativity that no other Celtic possesses. Although Banks sometimes gets carried away with his three point shots, when his game is on, it is ON. Banks is a young player and with the right coaching, I see Banks becoming the next Allen Iverson. He’s quick, he’s scrappy and most importantly, he loves the game. If I were Danny Ainge, I never would have traded Marcus Banks; heck, I never would have let that gorgeous athlete out of my sight. But, now that he’s gone, I hope that Timberwolves Coach Dwane Casey recognizes his all-star potential.

Celtics versus T-Wolves

The Celtics will try to improve their abysmal 4-17 road record tonight against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Although this is a non-conference game, it projects to be a grudge match thanks to the trade last week. Ricky Davis and Wally World will be head-to-head, as will Mark Blount and the Kidz.

The youngsters did a great job on KG in the fourth quarter the last time the two teams squared off (Celtics victory), so hopefully they will be able to match that performance tonight.

KEYS TO VICTORY
1) Control the boards. The T-Wolves don't have a lot of shooters, so limiting second-chance opportunities is critical.
2) Aggressive play in the paint. No easy shots.
3) Don't let a random goon take over. The Celtics always struggle in this category, and the T-Wolves have several players that could randomly go off on the C's. Eddie Griffin and Troy Hudson spring to mind.

PREDICTIONS
1) Mark Blount will play really, really well, like he did right before his contract was renewed. This will completely justify why we traded his lazy ass. Perkins will not be amused. He will bring the pain.
2) Wally and Ricky's performances will pretty much cancel each other out... just like the trade they were recently a part of.

FINAL SCORE:
Celtics 87, T-Wolves 76

CELTICS LOSE HEARTBREAKER TO BUCKS (NO, WALLY DIDN'T GET TRADED TO THE BUCKS)

WALLY'S INCREDIBLE GOOD LOOKS, CHISLED ABS, AND BULGING PECS CAN'T CARRY CELTICS TO VICTORY

The Celtics fought valiantly against the upstart Mil-a-walk-ay Bucks on Sunday afternoon, but ultimately bowed to a 83-79 loss. The Celtics had off-afternoons all around, getting quiet performances from Delonte and the Truth, but should be encouraged by the play of their post players. Raef, Perk, and Jefferson all had double-figure rebounding nights (or close, Perk had 9), and the Celtics outrebounded the Bucks by 9 in the game. This is an encouraging sign, because usually some neanderthal like Dan Gadzurichorhoweverthehellyouspellit gets a million offensive rebounds and kills the Celtics.

Still, it was a frustrating game for the C's because they could have won against a playoff team. While the Celtics have come close against top-flight teams all season (the Pistons come to mind), they have not been able to win many close battles against playoff-quality opponents.

Hopefully, that will all chance in the upcoming half-season, but time is running out.

MVP: Wally World, who had 20 points on 8-15 shooting. He also hit all of his free throws, which was nice because they Celtics shot 66% as a team. Ouch.

LVP: Tony Allen. 0 points and 4 fouls.

DOC'S GRADE: B/B-. No glaring goof-ups, but the lack of execution down the stretch is killing the Celtics this sesason.

REF'S GRADE: B-. The vendetta against Perkins is starting to reach consipracy levels.

WTF MOMENT: When Toni Kukoc came into the game. Where the hell has that guy been for the last six years?

Celtic-Celebrity Look-alikes!!!

Hey y'all. Time for some dope Celtic look-alikes. If I was going to make a movie documenting the current Celtics' roster, here's who I would call upon:

1. Paul Pierce: Tie between pro skate-boarder Pierre-Luc Gagnon and a sea turtle.
The Gagnon-Pierce resemblance is pretty uncanny (despite the race difference), although I feel like i could draw in a huge portion of the Disney crowd if i portrayed Pierce as a slam-dunking talking sea turtle. You make the call.



2. Wally Szczerbiak: to be played by Josh Hartnett. I think the newest Celtic was brought in partly for his great shooting, and partly to serve as eye candy for Danny Ainge. Let's hope Hartnett gots game.
They both have the glare and the spiky hair to boot. Damn, they must be brothers.




3. Brian Scalabrine: to be played by Michael Rapaport. Damn, look at the pictures. Enough said.












4. Gerald Green: to be played by Juvenile. This is really one of my favorites. These guys look exactly alike, except for juveniles entirely gold teeth and instead of shooting jumpers for the Celts, he shoots cops for the Cash Money Millionares (who have a movie in which they shoot the mail man for delivering an eviction notice).











5. Raef Lafrentz: to be played by Kirk Cameron. Another of my faves. They both suffer from growin pains, and I hearKirk isn't the only one with a best friend named Boner...






6. Delonte West: played by Willow. I know this is kind of a cheap shot at my second favorite (and rising) Celtic behind the spazmonic hustle machine Tony Allen. But they are both red-headed elf-like men with super powers. How could I not make this casting move?













Thats my starting cast. I thought about some others, and maybe theyll show themselves in part two of my movie casting, but for now, i gotta go work on the screenplay. Go Celtics.

Quote of the Day: January 28

From an 82games.com piece:

"What happens when you replace one guy in a five man unit? Sometimes quite a lot as the Celtics show! Making one change to the most used unit -- replacing Blount with Perkins -- has made a dramatic improvement in terms of team results (admittedly unadjusted by game state or opposing players faced). We have one word of advice for Danny Ainge: don't trade Paul Pierce for less than a superstar in return."

Wally's World is now the Garden-

After listening to WEEI's "The Big Show" this afternoon on my way back from work it seemed clear from Danny Ainge's interview that this trade was going to happen. So when Tanguay reported it in this evening’s edition of New England Sports Tonight it wasn't as much of a surprise as it should have been. Now the question becomes: does this make the Celtics a better team. The debate hangs on a few important questions:

1) How much do you value Ricky Davis as a defensive player? It is clear that Ricky has raised his game on the offensive end of the floor this season. But the Celtics haven't had problems scoring. Now by no means am I advocating for Wally Szczerbiak as a defensive player but he is an offensive upgrade and if you are choosing between two players who can't play defense then I want the one with the better offensive numbers. Ricky developed a rep early in this season and a defensive stopper and at times he has been serviceable but his mental lapses have been too numerous and have cost the Green on many occasions. The is definite concern from the Boston faithful that Wally can't create his own shot like Ricky can but I think you just need to look at the numbers. Wally is a career 50% shooter from the floor 40% from behind the arc and 85% from the line (90% this season and we all know the C's could use a good free throw shooter in the fourth). I don't care how you get your points if you can boast those numbers while scoring 20.1 points per game I'll take it.

2) How much did you believe in Marcus Banks future with the team? I think this one is a little more cut and dry. Banks has been hyped for his speed, energy and, defensive toughness; but the fact is that he can't run an offense and isn't a good shooter. Marcus has shown a few flashes of potential but on the whole he has been streaky at best. He commits too many fouls, too many turnovers and is out of control most of the time. Combine that with the emergence of Delonte West as the best guard and Oriene Green as a solid back up and Banks became expendable.

3) How does this effect Doc Rivers? We all know Doc is a terrible "in game" coach. He makes awful decisions and can't look down the bench at someone without automatically sending into the game. This trade by default makes it harder for Doc to screw up and thus helps the Celtics. Lets just run down the new depth chart as it stand while making a few assumptions.
C-Perkins/ Olowokandi
PF-LaFrentz/ Jefferson
SF-Pierce/ Scalabrine
SG-Szczerbiak/ Allen
PG-West/ Greene
If we assume that Doc sticks with the Perk/Raef combination up front and slides Wally into Ricky's spot then we have a line up that looks as so with only five guys (not counting Gomes) left on the pine. This provides much more consistency. Greene will become the only backup PG take the guess work out of Doc's job; Allen becomes a spot defender with athleticism; Scalabrine becomes a guy who can come off the bench for 10-12 minutes and give you energy and some decent shooting; Al Jeff is your 6th man who is continuing to grown and the Kandi man can give you muscle and extra body to bang down low. I mean the guy is 7'1, 270 he can at least take up space. If we use the dreaded on paper theory, I think this make the Celtics better now and in the future. They have to settle into a more consistent rotation due to this trade with Al Jeff and one other guy getting big minutes off the bench. The other three will play when guys are in foul trouble or for defensive purposes.

The last thing that we have to consider is how this will affect the team financially. Let’s see if we can figure it out. Ricky is set to make 19.1M over the next three years. Blount is set to make 18.4M for the first three years and then 15.3M for the next two. So for the first three years Ricky and Blount will make roughly 37.5M. Wally has 4 more years (including this one) the first three he is scheduled to make 33.0M. So that means that the Celts save 4.5M over the first three years of this deal. Kandi man is an expiring contract and is off the books in April. Wally will make 13M in 08/09 but it is less than the 15.3M that Blount would be owed from 08-2010.

In the end Danny Ainge made the right move. He made a commitment to Jefferson, Perk and West by getting rid of Banks and Blount and got equal value for Ricky. Justin Reed's body is moved off the bench and Doc doesn't have to see him again. Banks and Reed would have been gone in the off-season so why not make sure they don't have chance to have a good March and April and earn their way back on to next years roster. The Celtics decided to go young they have to now make a commitment the young guys that are playing well Blount and Banks were holding that up. Also let’s not forget that the C's get a first round pick in all of this and the T'wolves aren't getting any better. With Wally and Paul on the same page and the development of the young guys continuing the C's could go on and run and actually win 4 in a row.

News and Notes: January 28

-The Celtics have been rumored to be looking to make another trade, but Steve Bulpett reports that Paul Pierce will not be involved. The Celts are taking a hard look at Flip Murray. Ainge wants better shooting from the bench- no huge changes will be made. With the exception of a player or two, this is our team.

-The Celtics may pull up Will Bynum, former Georgia Tech star, to lend some support at the point guard spot.

-Chris Andersen, a.k.a. "The Birdman" was suspended for two years by the NBA for a substance abuse violation. He is the first player to be suspended since Stanley Roberts in 1999. Talk about an embarrassing career- the one time you get the spotlight you brick eight straight dunks then you get kicked out of the league. I can't wait for the All Access look at Andersen on ESPN when he admits to entering the Slam Dunk contest after doing three lines of coke, two tabs of LSD, and a bottle of amphetamines fifteen minutes before. He will get emotional, admit that he has a problem, and try to play the sympathy card. David Stern will reject his appeal and then give him a Dikembe-Mutumbo-style finger wag to rub it in.

-Isiah Thomas has recently denied all allegations that he sexually harrassed the female executive that is currently filing a lawsuit against him. In an AP story, he was quoted as saying, "These allegations are patently false. That crazy bitch is definitely a dike. She is barely a woman. I wouldn't even THINK of trying to hit that. Yuck."

The chances of Isiah apologizing or accepting responsibility? Zero. This is the guy that has never felt a shred of remorse for saying that Larry Bird would be "just another player" if he were black, for refusing to congratulate a team that beat him, or for driving the CBA into oblivion.

-In the playoff race, the Celtics currently stand in 11th place in the Eastern Conference. The Pacers (7th) are going to struggle without O'Neal, but both the Magic and the Bulls have been playing well as of late. The Celts still seem optimistic about their chances- which they should be- considering how much can happen in half a season.

First Day With Wally a Successful One

He shall be called Wally S. (so as not to be confused with the Green Monster) because, to be honest, I really am not sure how to spell his last name. Wally S. arrived at the Garden around 7 p.m. and saw action in the first half and even joined the starters at the beginning of the third quarter. After a couple misses to open his time in Celtics green, Szczerbiak (I looked it up) found his groove and hit 4 of his final 5 joining four others in double figures. Let's compare Wally's numbers in his first game with Boston with Ricky's in his first game with Minnesota:

Wally: 10 points on 4 of 7 shooting (2 for 3 from beyond the arc) with 3 boards 2 assists and a steal in 24 minutes.
Ricky: 26 points on 10 of 18 (1 for 4 from downtown) with 6 rebounds 3 assists and a steal in 36 minutes.

Ricky had one of his better games of the season and had a little more time to get situated prior to the game but I think that Wally will be capable of putting up similar numbers in coming games when he plays 35+ minutes. I still wish the C's still had Ricky and the move had not been made but it may not be as bad as I originally believed. (Note: Blount fouled out in just 16 minutes of action tonight). Olowokandi (also extremely easy to spell), Reed, and Banks all did not play.

You can not talk about the Celtics game tonight without mentioning Delonte. His name is not being brought up because of his usual superb offensive play and hustle, but is instead because of the job he did on Bibby. Bibby finished with just two field goals on 14 attempts and had trouble moving the ball; a result of West's suffocating defense. Containing a player to this extent who had been averaging around 30 points over the past couple weeks speaks volumes for someone in just their second year.

Everyone for Boston seemed to play average to above average ball. LaFrentz and Perkins each had double-doubles. Raef finished with 12 and 10, Perk with 13 and 11. Gomes saw his first action in a month and played up to expectations. Scalabrine was the only Celtic who saw action to be held scoreless. One of the only concerns this evening is the rate at which the C's continue to turn the ball over. Chalk up 23 more after this one, 7 of which were by #34. Tommy was heard muttering, "This is like being in the dentist office right now," to which Mike replied, "And you're the one in the chair, I can tell." This was before the home team orchestrated a 16-4 run to put the game out of reach. This run was highlighted by my favorite play of the game: Artest appeared to have decent position on the block as he went up for a lay-up but he was denied by Delonte, first as he was blocked and then, adding insult to injury, was stripped. Artest was left laughing at himself, knowing full well that he needs to work hard to get back into NBA (Delonte) shape.

The Staff Reacts to the Trade

Charles Barkley commented last night that the Celtics-Timberwolves trade was akin to "trading Phyllis Diller for Rosanne Barr". He then remarked, "I bet that will change the balance of power . . . I think UConn can beat [the Celtics]."

Ouch.

Unfortunately, Charles may be correct. Let's turn to our I*Heart*Celtics panel.

Keating
You have got to be joking!

You were all over this news Sullivan. I just caught the bad news on the net a little bit ago. This entry would be more than a few sentences if I wasnt incredibly upset at the world and all human beings who inhabit it. At the top of my list is whoever decided this trade was such a great idea. Wally is a decent player but Ricky, in my opinion, is better in all aspects of the game with the exception of pure shooting ability. The Kandy Man is shooting a remarkable 49% from the line and he led the T-Wolves in one category...fouls per game.

Peisch
This trade was somewhat of a surprise, although I had heard for a long time that Danny Ainge loved Wally World for some reason. Danny has a strange obsession with random white dudes around the league... which is why Robert Swift had to ask for a restraining order after finding Ainge rifling through his underpants. Also, it may explain Jiri Welch, Dickau, Scalabrine... I mean, what the hell! Is the solution, "more white dudes, the pastier the better"?

It's sad to see Ricky and Marcus go, which cancels out the jubilation I feel finally getting rid of Blount. Bringing in the Kandi Man is just depressing, but I can tolerate him for half a season. However, considering the money we're throwing at Raef, who knows if we'll try to resign Kandi. *shudder*

All in all, this trade was pointless and lame. Coincidentally, that is how I would describe almost every move Danny has made as he has guided this ship into a state of perpetual decline. Once again, we did not gain anything. Is Wally a better shooter than Ricky? Marginally. Is he a worse defender? Slightly. Does he make waaaay too much money? Absolutely!

I don't understand where Danny is going with this team. His long-term plan changes every time he makes a trade. When we signed Ricky, it was "more athleticism". When we traded him, we needed, "better shooting".

Hopefully, this one works out. If it doesn't, we get to watch Wally World get old and rich for the next five years as we trade away the lottery pick we get each season.

Sullivan

Well, as usual, Peisch has hit it on the money. This trade is pretty nonsensical, and the uproar over Ainge back when he traded Toine for Raef Lafrentz (and his contract that makes up 48% of our national deficit) should never have died down. The funny thing is, I believe Ainge might be a competant coach, and probably a better-than-average player, like a pretty-boy Steve Kerr or something. But here are the problems with Danny Ainge's reign as General Manager/Doofus in the past few years with the C's:

1. He got way too much credit for his drafting:

After scoring a fluke by landing Gerald Green this year, along with selecting Al Jefferson who far exceeded all realistic expectation last year, Ainge started getting lots of credit and props by those idiot "insiders" at ESPN. The thing is, he didn't even want Jefferson, and is rumored to have cried when Seattle took Robert Swift ahead of him that year. Its also rumored that he tried to trade Gerald Green for Swift straight up last week, and it was denied. So clearly Ainge took credit for the "good picks" he made, although like Peisch said, they were all automatic picks in the wake of Ainge trying to score more slow whities. I hate slow white guys (and by that i mean all current white NBA players not from Argentina, and that includes Jason Kidd).

2. He traded away all Pierce's pals, while demanding Pierce be the team's backbone:
Let's see Danny. We have the greatest offensive player to ever play for the Celtics (which means he is a GREAT offensive talent, and not bad at D), and he is happy and productive playing alongside Antoine Walker, Tony Battie (his best friend at the time and guardian angel), and liked Ricky Davis. So what do you do? You trade Toine for Raef, we get stuck with a huge contract and a 15-minute-per-night player with horrible knees (who missed an entire season after surgery). You trade Battie essentially for Chris Mihm, not a bad player (I actually have a nostalgic awe of him, as I played against him in a pickup game growing up), who turned out a bust. And you traded Ricky for Wally Szczerbiak, who didn't get along well at all with his previous star teammate, Kevin Garnett, which is a bad indication. So how Danny, do you expect Paul to carry the team if you hit him below the belt time after time by trading away all his boys?

3. He refuses to develop talent
Don't let Kendrick (who is a 3rd year player, actually) or Big Al playing 20 minutes a night fool you. He basically had no choice and had to let them play because people were calling for Doc's head and his resignation. Only three seasons ago Marcus Banks was the future point guard of this organization. Things were looking up, he was a hustle machine, the fastest player I've seen in the NBA (yes, faster than Iverson, neck-and-neck with TJ Ford), a defensive mind-boggler, and had great penetration moves to the basket. Then inexplicably, he becomes trade bait. He never got any playing time after a failed trade to the Lakers, and he never recovered. What happened there? What happened to other draft picks like Ryan Gomes, a proven player, college all-american, super intelligent bball player who has played like 25 seconds all year. He's the type of player that would make this team better, while Ainge meanwhile invented some crap called the Scalabrine effect that supposedly makes his teammates look great. Well it does, because compare to Scal's sucky play, Dwayne Schnitznius looks like friggin Dwayne Wade. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!


MORE SCAL = GOOD TRADE


Now that everyone is done crying, I would like to add my two cents. It has become common practice to flip out when ever there is a trade and quickly point fingers at Danny. Before you cut his balls of it would probably be better to step back, watch a game, and by looking at the whole picture you will see that the trade both makes sense and will help the Celtics in both the short and long term. Let me break it down for you.
1. The most obvious part of the trade is Ricky for Wally. At first glance you say "yo Danny what is the point?" Wally and Ricky are very comperable players. Both are very good complementary players, both are great offensive weapons that take high percentage shots, have good energy, and both cannot play a lick of defense. Ricky is an athletic slasher who is a master of mid-range jumpers. Wally is more of a pure shooter who can get to the hole. So if these players are so simular what does this do for the Celtics? Why take the risk when you have solid chemistry between Pierce and Ricky? The reason is that as good as Ricky has been, he is a very simular player to Pierce. While they do play well together, they can also limit each other at the same time. This can be seen most recently by Ricky's scoring slump. He usually plays his best offense when he's in there offensively alone with the second unit. Wally brings something different to the table. As a sharpshooter he spreads the floor giving complementing Pierce by giving him an extra option on the drive and freeing the lane up for him to drive. His outside threat also clears out the middle for Big Al and Perk. Ricky's offense was mostly mid-range and drives to the basket. With two big men Pierce and Ricky the Celts would often clog up the lane. Tonights game demonstrated how effective this can work as Pierce got Wally several open looks and Big Al and Perk were given free range in the post leading to their first duel double-double. Sure Ricky's incredibly low salary makes him a more flexible contract than Wally's Baker-esque salary, but since overall the Celtics did free up salary so, barring a Wally injury (could happen) it works out fine.
2. Probably the most important part of the trade was the way it trimmed down the roster and giving the Celtics a smaller bench, so that they can now get the consistancy in the rotation they desperately need. Some may laugh, but the Celtics came into pre-season with probably the deepest team in the league. They were honestly 15 deep. When your roster gets that deep that is a bad thing, as the Celtics learned very quickly. Especially when you have a young, inexperienced team. Doc had struggled finding a consistant line-up because he had so many options. In Doc's defense this was very complicated. You want to develop the young guys, but you want to win games and feel pressured to play big dumb, funky rapping, offensively talented, turnover prone oafs, who make over 6 million. You are trying to get Oriene Green experience, but you have the talented Marcus Banks who returns midway through the season who clearly deserves playing time, but does not exactly fit in with what your doing. You have the college vetran Ryan Gomes and the hustle machine Justin Reed. With so many players with simular abilities, they could not decide who was better, but had to make a decision of which one was a better fit. This trade represented making this decision. You could already see the effect this had on the line-up. Al and Perk got all the minutes they wanted without getting dirty looks from Blount. There was no second guessing who would sub, and Doc can't play 11 different people in one half even if he wanted to. The young Celts will get consistant playing time, become more experienced and stop turning the frickin' ball over.
3. The icing on the cake for this trade is that it also makes the Celtics better off for the future. Overall it saves them 5 million dollars in cap space and gives them a future 1st round pick. This was not the point of the trade, but cap space and draft picks are always a valuable asset, and the Celtics got both.
No this trade did not make the Celtics into a championship team, but should be thought of simply as a neccesary step in getting there. Think of a fat man looking for love. We'll call him Scal. Scal needs to lose at least 30 pounds if he wants a woman to even look at him right. Losing weight is not going to get him that woman alone because he still has red hair, but its a neccesary step to getting chicks. (Just kidding Scal Red heads for life!) Blount NEEDED to go. The roster NEEDED to be trimmed. Wally could aguably be a better fit than Ricky, and the Celtics got some cap room and a first round. It will be a while before we know if this was a good trade, but the Celtics have been stale of late so it was time to spice things up . If you watched the game tonight, it looked like exactly what the team and the fans needed. Ill miss you RICKY!

HANSEN

Seven Player trade done deal. Ricky, Blount, Banks, and J-Reed Gone!

Fox Sports NE reports the following:

The Boston Celtics have reportedly made a deal to send Ricky Davis, along with Marcus Banks, Mark Blount, Justin Reed and two future draft picks, to the Minnesota T-Wolves for Wally Szczerbiak, Michael Olowokandi and Dwayne Jones, according to an article in the Boston Herald.
Davis and Szczerbiak, the two headliners of the deal, are averaging 19.9 and 20.1 points per game, respectively this season.
Davis has spent approximately the last three season in Boston following stints with Cleveland, Miami and Charlotte, while Szczerbiak, the sixth overall pick in the 1999 NBA Draft, has spent his entire career in Minnesota.

Celtics.com is also reporting that the Celtics will receive a future first-round draft pick and the T-Wolves will get two conditional second-rounders from the C's.

Szczerbiak-for-Ricky!!!!!!?!??!?!?!? HOLY CRAP i didnt see this coming!!!!

Ricky Davis is gone. Wally Szczerbiak is a Celtic. I Heart Celtics is breaking this story before ESPN!!! It is not on the internet, just overheard it on TV! Also gone are Marcus Banks, Mark Blount, but the specifics are still fuzzy. Will update soon

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERALD!

Our first-round draft pick is celebrating his 20th birthday today. Green is currently bending the NBDL over his knee and spanking it repeatedly, all while growing badass cornrows.

In honor of Gerald, here is a highlight reel from his short but spectacular career in the NBDL.

Here is the clip from his victory in the McDonald's Slam Dunk contest last year.

Finally, his incredible dunk from preseason this year.

Happy Birthday, Gerald!

Celtics Get Wizzed On

Ugly Game Leads to Ugly Finish
While the potential matchup of Wizards vs. Celtics is not what basketball fans would consider a thrilling game, but in the case of tonights game there was certaintly some exciting things to watch.
1. The superb play of Gilbert Arenas. While the King, AI, and the man they now refer to as 81, are all averaging well over 30 points a game, Mr. Arenas quietly managed to score a humble 29 points a game. His quickness and pure scoring ability make him one of the most exciting players in the game, even though much like "the truth" he doesn't have the mainstream appeal exposure he deserves.
2. The next intriguing thing about this game was that believe it or not, the Celtics are still in the playoff hunt and the only thing that stands in their way is.....yes the equally miserable Washington Wizards. A win tonight could prove to be valuable come April.
3. Finally, this game also serves to be a good barometer to where the new look Celtics stand. Thus far the Celtics have had a bad habit of playing down to their competition and a convincing win against the lowly Wizards would be a big step foward for the C's.
As the game began the began the Celtics were 1st out of the gates and it looked as if maybe they had learned a lot in the past week. Kendrick Perkins took control scoring the first two baskets, grabbing the first two rebounds, and swating Gilbert Arenas. The Celts got out to an 8-0 lead, were playing hard D and distributing and shooting the ball well on offense. Perk got in quick foul trouble, but the squad kept its composure as Raef and big Al stepped it up in his abscense. By the end of 1 the C's had a 10 point lead, but in the second things got messy. The bench mob came in and held up their end of the bargin. They played their pattened lock down defense and even managed to score a few hoops thanks to the astonising play of one Brian Scalabrine. He had a huge rejection on Gilbert and a three pointer from so far back that Tommy said "That should be a 4!" The man in red strapped the team to his pudgy back and carried them through the 2nd, hitting yet another jump shot 2 minutes later. Unforetuntely, this is when the wheels came of the red headed bus. As the starters came back inheriting a resonalble 7 point lead, they squandered it in a hurry, with a series of trademark turnovers. The quarter soon turned to slop as the offense simply evaporated. By the end of the second the Wizards had closed to within 3. Despite the dismal play, the second quarter did have its highlights, such as when Gorman pointed out that Michael Ruffin was a Chemical Engineering major and when Dickerson reported that Delonte West's parents were seen kissing on the jumbotron and Perk and Al were just cracking up on the bench. The 3rd quarter picked up right where the second left off with more turnovers. The C's would be baking turnovers for the rest of the night as the game quickly started to slip. The Wizards finally took their first lead of the game thanks to the grind it out play of Brendon Haywood who willed himself to a season high 19 points.The only thing keeping the Celts alive was the brilliant play of Delonte West. As Perk and Jeff got into foul trouble, Mark Blount fans rejoiced as he made a cameo appearence on the court. To everyones surprise, as the 4th began, Blount took over the game. It wasn't until the 5 minute mark that someone not named Blount or Scal scored a point. This is when Pierce took over hit clutch shot after clutch shot reaching a 7 point lead, and then the C's hit a wall. More turnovers and sloppy fouls, let Washington back in yet again. Despite bricking 6 free throws (YIPE!) Pierce scored 6 straight in the final 2 minutes to make it close, but in a Deja Vu sh*t call the refs amazingly once again bailed out the Wizards sending Gilbert Arenas to the game to decide the game with no time left. Game over. Celts lose. Once again the Celts were in a close game, and once again they lost a heartbreaker. Yes, the refs did a terrible terrible job, but lets be honest, the Celtics had too many chances to put that game away to blame the refs. You can't complain about calls when you miss 6 foul shots in the final 3 minutes and turn the ball over 2 million times. Clearly the Celtics have not changed as much as I had hoped.

REFS RUMORED TO BE ON WIZARDS' PAYROLL; HEINSOHN ORDERS FULL INVESTIGATION

A ridiculous foul call on Ricky Davis with 1.7 seconds left in the game put Gilbert Arenas on the line to break an 87-87 tie tonight against the Wizards. For some reason, the refs felt it pertinent to call a ticky-tack foul to decide the game on free throws. It was fitting, however, as the refs blew call after call in favor of the Wizards all night long. The refs were last seen sneaking into a pay-by-the-hour motel room with Arenas somewhere in the Danvers area soon after the game.

Why we knew beforehand that the refs would be sleeping with Gilbert and his cronies after the game:
-calling a foul on Scalbrine every time he even looked at someone funny- which is patently unfair and biased against the hopelessly funny-looking like Scals
-Not calling a flagrant (or a foul at all) when Delonte got decked
-Robbing Ricky Davis all night long, especially down the stretch
-Not giving Paul 10 more free throws because he gets RAILROADED every time he goes to the rim by no-talent oafs like Brendan Haywood

Sure, the Truth should have nailed those two he had at the end of the game, but it's hard to nitpick a guy that leads the team in scoring and rebounding- again- from the GUARD SPOT no less. 5-13 from the line is a aberration for a normally solid shooter from the line.

All in all, the Celtics had a subpar performance tonight, and they still almost won despite playing 5-on-8 against a playoff team and their girlfriends/refs. Perk and Jefferson were ordinary, Ricky played well after five early turnovers, nothing too bad and nothing too great... except for REDZ.

Delonte once again had a solid night with 10 points, 9 assists, 5 rebounds, and only one turnover. Delonte has been a bright spot in almost every game for the Celtics, who would be wise to lock the kid up for many years to come. Unfortunately, Danny will invariably try to trade him over and over again for arbitrary tall, skinny, white dudes that play four minutes a game.

DOC'S GRADE: B+
There wasn't much more he could have done. Poor free throw shooting and terrible reffing did him in.

REFS' GRADE: F
They should be sent to Special Ed a.k.a. the WNBA for this horror show.

ISIAH JOINS THE LONG LIST OF PERVERTS EMPLOYED BY THE KNICKERSNIFFERS

KNICKS STAFFED ENTIRELY BY CREEPY WEIRDOS YOU SEE WALKING OUT OF THE 'ADULT' SECTION OF THE MOVIE STORE

Isiah Thomas was a great basketball player. Unfortunately, he is an even greater bastard. Worse, he is the greatest failure in the history of the General Manager position. Still, you have to tip your hat to the guy: since he has made a career out of embarrassing himself, a sexual harrassment lawsuit is a GREAT move. Nothing makes you look more ridiculous- see Bill O'Reilly or Pat O'Brien for more information on the subject.

The lawsuit also serves another useful purpose for Thomas. If he wants to take attention away from his team's terrible record, his ridiculously inflated team salary (despite only having point guards and power forwards on the roster), and his players jumping into the stands... a sexual harrassment lawsuit is an excellent diversion.

Finally, since Isiah loves to spend money, is this that bad for the Knicks? Think about what he pays his players and what he gets out of them.

Six million dollars for no production is a bargain for Isiah. This woman is going to play about as much as Marice Taylor, and that guy is getting NINE million a year to scratch his butt at the end of the bench. Plus, paying this woman is a one-time deal akin to a one-year contract. However, if Thomas' sexual harrassing is a metaphor for his GM'ing, he will probably just solicit another employee for sex next year, except that suit will be for seven years and $69 million.

The ESPN article reads:

Browne Sanders said Thomas' behavior soon became sexually charged, saying he told her he was "very attracted" to her and "in love" with her and tried to kiss her. She charges that last month, he hugged and tried to kiss her, and when she pulled away, he said, "What, I can't get any love from you today?"

Classy! Sounds like Isiah has been hanging out with Marv "Jaws" Albert too much.

Never wanting to be anywhere other than the middle of the media circus, Larry "Clown" Brown quickly came rushing to Isiah's aid.

"I've known him since I tried to recruit him in high school and he's a phenomenal human being," Knicks coach Larry Brown said. "And the Knicks have always treated me well, so I guess I'll let it play itself out."

It's good to know that Isiah never solicited his 65-year-old head coach for sex. He must be innocent.

Marbury also jumped into Isiah's corner.

"I know Isiah and I know he's an honorable man," Stephon Marbury said. "I know that he's a guy filled with a lot of character, so I think everyone here is on his side."

If this goes to trial, I wouldn't call Starbury as a character witness. We're talking about a guy that didn't even know the name of the college he was attending at the time. He has enough character to be pulled over for DUI. He has enough character to whine like, well, Larry Brown wherever he goes.

What irritates me is all this talk about how Isiah is a "phenomenal human being" with a lot of "character". Would sexually harrassing a woman be out of line for Isiah's character?

Let's face it- scumbags get hit with sexual harrassment lawsuits, and Isiah was the first scumbag superstar in the NBA. He was the ultimate sore loser and cheap-shot artist.

When it came down to refusing to congratulate a team for beating you in the Eastern Conference Finals, declaring that Larry Bird would be "just another player" if he were black, and sucker-punching opponents, Isiah set a standard for poor sportsmanship that d-bags like Ron Artest strive to achieve today.

It is a complete mystery how Isiah Thomas keeps getting jobs. Don't brain-dead ex-players usually get some do-nothing position such as "Team Ambassador" or "Assistant Marketing Executive"? Isiah destroyed the CBA, almost destroyed the Pacers, and is now in the process of destroying the Knicks.

We all thought he hit rock bottom when he threatened the Sports Guy, but Thomas keeps finding new lows. What's next? Pimp-slapping a stripper on a recruiting trip trying to sign Isiah Rider to a 5-year, $60 million contract?

I just hope the Knicks heroically stick by Isiah so that we can continue to enjoy the greatest train wreck in the history of the NBA. Keep it up, Isiah, because we're loving every minute of it.

Mid-Season Top 5/Bottom 5/Funny 3

After 1993 total minutes of game time in a bipolar season, the C's have had their share of highs and lows, triumphs and heart-breaks, high-fives and death-threats. While sports blogs thrive off of the the canonical "Top 10" list, I have decided to celebrate the statistical half-way point of the season by going half way. After not much consideration, the following are my, Brendan Sullivan's, top 5 moments of the 2005-2006 season thus far, followed by the bottom 5 (although this harmonious balance of high points and low points would be more apt for a Celtics team with a .500 record, i refuse to do a top 17, bottom 24 list). And then come the funnies. Let's do this:

Top 5 Moments of the Celtics season thus far:

5. Opening night Knickerbocker Nutshot - Ain't no better way to start the season than with a 114-110 OT win at the Garden. A lot of hype surrounded Larry Brown and Eddy Curry coming into this game as the worst GM in the history of the game, Isiah Thomas, brought his new-look $124 million Knicks to beantown. The Celt's ($55 million payroll) proved that Delontes are more valuable than Benjamins, especially when it comes in the form of the 6-2 Delonte West rejecting 6-11 weak-hearted Eddy Curry from behind. Delonte finished with 14 pts, 9 rebs, 9 ast, 3 stl, 2 blk, and only 1 turnover, and launched his way into my heart the way only he and Marcus Banks could as Celtics point guards.

4. Tommy Heinson - No specific event, I just wanted to raise a toast to another great start of the season by the greatest color commentator in NBA history.

3. Mark Blunt Trade Rumors - Never liked Blount. Not even when he changed the pronounciation to Blunt, inspiring my sister to make a "Pass the Blount" sign. Hated him when he had shiny high tops and never played back in his first stint with the Celts, hated him when he supposedly was new and improved last season, and showed it by attempting to punch Ricky Davis in practice and getting in lots of fights with deaf dumb and blind coach Doc Rivers. Maybe in addition to changing his name to Blunt, he should drop the "Bl" and add a "C". He looks like a retarded giraffe, and is even less talented at basketball. Trade him, even though he swears he's funky. Give him some gum as a parting gift. Who cares who we pay, just don't let it be him. Or Vinny.

2. Delonte's (Other) Block - In the final few seconds of the Dec. 21st game against Utah, with the Celtics up twelve, Matt Harpring tried to up his fantasy stats by taking an uncontested layup at the buzzer. Uncontested so he thought. Basically sprinting from the locker room comes Delonte West, who skies over the ususpecting and much taller Harpring and rejects his pointless shot at the buzzer. What a friggin effort, give that man a Tommy-point, a tommy-game, a tommy-set, a tommy-goddam-match! I'm just waiting for the Pistons to steal Delonte from the Celtics loose grasp, to secure them all players in the league who actually hustle.

1. Ricky's Shot - Although Delonte's block was the single most exciting play of the season for me, the importance of this play was much greater. Finally Ricky D becomes a viable last-second option, increasing his confidence, his teammates confidence in him, and the fans confidence in him. Since then he's tried less to win fans over with funky dunks than with high percentage shots and consistancy. Bravo Ricardo.

Bottom Five Moments so far:

5. Motown-Philly Comeback Again - Nothing hurts more than watching the Celt's play great, and then lose at the buzzer. It hurts more when its against the Pistons, the darlings of the NBA right now, on a buzzer beater by Rip Hamilton, who had been outplayed by Celtics guards all night. But what really adds insult to injury is when they fall in triple over time to the Sixers. I spent like 4 hours watching that game, and all I had to show for it was a few broken beer bottles which i smashed over my head and a notch in the loss column. Especially when they should've won but were poorly coached down the stretch, and Blount lets Chris "5-time-convicted-felon" Webber be the hero. Dammit.

4. Scalabrine - You know the movie when DeCaprio disguises himself as a pilot and takes Pan-Am for like a million dollars? Its basically the same concept as Brian Scalabrine in the NBA, except he's fat ugly and has red hair and just completely isn't convincing anyone...except Danny Ainge. F the Scalabrine effect. Last time i checked it was called turnovers, airballs, and losing.

3. The Money Situation - I admit I hate the way the NBA is turning into a huge money pit, where the term "franchise player" is really a joke now (besides Duncan really) because people chase money over glory, and feel no allegiances to teams anymore as GMs and owners make it obvious players are just business collateral. But still, it must be said. Having Vin Baker making more than Big Al, Tony Allen, Delonte West, Kendrick Perkins, Justin Reed, and Orien Greene COMBINED is absolutely atrocious. On top of that, Baker and Blount are the 4th and 5th highest paid players on the team. WTF? Thats Bush-League!!!!

2. What's up (with all the losing) Doc? - Enough people have flipped out about Doc, I feel like it would be preaching to the choir to trash him at this point. But he really is a bad coach. They call him a "player's coach". That means he doesn't do or say anything, he's basically just like that supervisor on the playground at recess when you played bball in elementary school. He has nothing to do with the game, doesn't really want to be there, just there because he has to be. And my recess supervisor never helped me win shit.

1. Ummm...enough brooding over the negative, it hasn't been a great season, and deciding what the worst part of the season is is a waste of time. im bored, lets go straight to the funny!!!!

Top 3 Funniest Moments so Far (or maybe Ever):

3. Dan Dickau, 5-0 - No, that's not Dickau's turnover and point total on the year, respectively, its 5-0, like a cop. The game after his season-ending injury, two of my friends, one a faithful blogger on this site, Nic, saw a security guard standing by the McDonald's in the TDBN Garden who looked eerily similar to Dickau. A word to the wise: Don't try stealing a Big Mac unless you want a slow, white, curly-haired former Zag hobbling after you with a ruptured achilles...on second thought, just go straight for the McFish and run.

2. Cousy returns, calls all black players over 6'6'' "Big Al" - In a valiant return to color commentary, Bob Cousy took a break from the Florida linx and joined Tommy and Mike on the mic. Although I missed his staple "Gives it down to Walter" commentary and audible snoring on air, he did succeed in comparing lots of Celtics to basketball players from the 1930s and in a comic display of irreverance, refer to Kendrick Perkins and Al Jefferson both as "Big Al", even on the same play. I think it went "Big Al took a nice shot on that last posession, but good thing Big Al was there for the putback." He probably would've called Mark Blount Big Al too if he had played.
1. Paul Pierce Threatens to kill Perk - I am an English major. I read lots of books. But these(sorry to my boys Hemingway and Graham Greene) are the greatest two paragraphs I've ever read. Extra points for using the word "malaise", Shira. From Jan 21st's Boston Globe:

During halftime of the Celtics' 103-96 victory over the Timberwolves Wednesday night, Kendrick Perkins challenged Paul Pierce to play better. Pierce entered the break 1 for 8 from the floor. Perkins thought Pierce needed more than a pep talk to shake him from his uncharacteristic offensive malaise. The exchange took place in front of the team.

''Perk said one thing to me and I almost slapped him," Pierce said. ''He tried to get on me in the locker room, but I threatened to kill him."

Wow. Way to go PP. If only he had slapped him! At least he threatened to kill his teammate for telling him to step up. Well it seems like it worked anyway, Pierce hit 7 out of 9 shots and had 20 pts in the second half. Perkins tells his side of the story:

''I just said, 'Darn it, P, I want you to pick it up,' " said Perkins.

Darn it huh? Is that what gets you a death threat in the NBA these days? Looks like that dress code is working Stern, another job well done.

CELTS READY FOR BIG TIME AFTER BITCH-SLAPPING THE HORNETS

I*HEART*CELTICS.COM CAN NO LONGER DENY DEBILITATING MAN-CRUSH ON RICKY DAVIS

Mark your calenders- January 23- the first day this season that the phrase "Celtics' playoff hopes" can be spoken without rolling eyes, sarcastic laughter, or the Dan Shaughnessy "everything sucks unless we win a championship" attitude that has infected the local media. The Celtics' victory is their third in four games- all against quality opponents playing some of the best basketball of their respective seasons.

Thanks to Tyree Ricardo Davis III's effort (32 points, 8 assists), the Celtics were able to put a sour look on that bastard Byron Scott's weasel-like face tonight, easily beating the white-hot Hornets 91-78 at the Garden. The Hornets had won five out of six and were in the eighth playoff spot in the more competitive Western Conference.

Celtics were able to overcome a below-average scoring night from the Truth to win easily against a quality opponent. The Celtics' defense was excellent, holding the Hornets to 36% shooting from the field, and Celts' foul shooting was also strong (82%). These are playoff team qualities- protecting home court, playing good defense, and hitting the foul shots.

With the win, the Celtics improve to 17-24, pretty much in a dead tie for ninth in the conference.

The top five playoff spots are virtual locks: Detroit, Miami, New Jersey, Cleveland, and Milwaukee aren't going to move much up or down unless their is a major injury. However, the Pacers (6th) are in a downward spiral (even floating the idea of trading Jermaine O'Neal). The 76ers backstab and bicker like stuck-up middle school girls. It's only a matter of time before Chris Webber starts a rumor that A.I. has an eating disorder, and A.I. shoots back that CWebb is a slut.

The Wizards are so boring that David Stern will break their legs if they make the playoffs because only their mothers and girlfriends will watch. Plus, they have only a marginally better record than the C's.

The Celtics are joined by the Bulls and the Magic on the outside looking in. The Bulls are erratic and the Magic don't know what to do with the Stevie Franchise situation. Both teams are good enough to turn it on, but the Celtics are in decent position for a second-half playoff push.

UP NEXT:
Wednesday night against the aforementioned Wizards, at the Garden. This will be a great opportunity for the Celtics to make up some ground in the playoff push.

GO CELTS!

Satisfying win over NOK

I tuned in to FSN around 9:00 p.m. EST to find the C's with a measly 6 point lead over the Hornets with 7-something remaining in the third quarter. This margin ballooned to 23 by the time the buzzer signaled the end of the period. It was some of the most entertaining basketball I have seen by the men in green this season. An obvious reason for this was the play of Ricky. He snapped out of his aforementioned (by the N-Man) slump by draining 9 of his first 10 FG attempts in the second half and more or less single handedly put the game on ice. Delonte continued to do everything (8, 7 and 5 with no TO's) that you would expect of a candidate for starting point guard in the Freshmen vs. Sophomore game. Al Jeff and Raef should also be commended for their play.

Now I will delve into a few negative points that I noted in this contest (of which I only watched 19 minutes). Perkins seemed to be a bit off tonight but I am sure he will rebound Wednesday. Perk did his share of rebounding but was unable to finish the way he has been in recent weeks. Take this with a grain of salt since the game was all but over, but the last ten minutes were abysmal. Yes it was the second string but New Orleans/Oklahoma City/Don't Have a Home was also playing their reserves. 13 points in the entire 4th and 4 of those were by Davis in the opening two minutes... Tony Allen and Justin Reed are known for their defense but a 20-year-old (J.R. Smith) goes off for 16 points in his only 12 minutes of action. It is time for these guys to step up or be shipped out because I really am not seeing enough out of them to make me think they deserve their roster spots. T'would be nice to see them prove me wrong and assist in the playoff push.

One final thought going into Wednesday: Pierce might just take control of the game early and make sure that the game does not come down to one final posession, and questionable call.

Celtics SWAT! Hornets

Bird Man’s Flight Delayed

After taking a beat down and a half from the cold-hearted New Jersey Nets on Saturday, many wondered if the young impressionable minds of the Celtics would be discouraged for this evening's contest against the feisty Oklahoma City Hornets. The Celtics silenced their critics by serving up a slice of beatdown, that they forced down the throats of the New Orleans players. Instead of coming out timid, the green came out livid, proving once again how resilient they really are. Getting out to an early lead, they quickly slipped it into cruise control, countering every run the Hornets had in them.

The story of the game was the superb play by the ever-slumping Raef Lafrenz who snapped out of his coma long enough to go 7-8 from the field and 4-5 from down town. Another recent slump victim Ricky Davis, also caught fire, igniting mid-range jumpers all night long, often right in his opponent’s eye. He cashed in with a game high 32 points. The real secret to the game was the Celts ever improving defense, led by the Perkinator’s 5 blocks. With a defensive strategy that dared Chris Paul to beat them from the outside, his dribble penetration and passing was severely limited, resulting in his 1-8 from the field.
By the time the 4th quarter came around the C’s had the victory all but locked up, holding a season high 28 point advantage over their opponent at one point. This led to some excellent garbage time that featured the breathtaking play of one Brian Scalabrine, who ate a game high 4 bags of Doritos on the bench during the first half. Other notable performances were "the truth's" 16 points, 9 rebounds, the Hornet's David West had 21 points, 6 rebounds, and J.R. Smith had 16 points (primarily in garbage time). Despite the big win for the Celtics overall the game was a complete disappointment due to the fact that the NBA's most electrifying player, the "Bird Man" Chris Anderson, was limited to only 2 field goal attempts and did not get a chance to showcase his lethal aerial assault of high flying slam dunks. One can most likely attribute this to the poor coaching of Byron Scott and the absence of Anderson's trade mark "perm" hair-doo. The "birdman" without a perm is like Superman without pants. He just isn't going to get the respect he deserves.

Where's the Faith? (Or, what the hell people?)

It all started when I was at my last playoff game, Game four of the 2003-04 playoffs, the Celtics pitiful showing against the Pacers in which they were swept. I went with the most hardcore Celtic fan I have ever known, not to mention a great friend, a 5 foot-tall Irish rugby all-star named Darren Ince. The two of us believed that with our deep and unconditional love for the Celtics, our support could give them the extra boost to extend their season for at least one more game. Sure the C's had backed into the playoffs in horrible fashion, sure the championship was out of reach. It was their 86th game of the season, and they looked exhausted. So did each and every fan in attendance. But what the hell?

In a town that prides itself on its "faith" in the Boston Red Sox, a team that plays 162 4-hour long games a season not to mention playoffs (or the fact that the Boston press devotes their undivided attention from the second the Patriots season ends), 86 concise, exciting games should be a relief from Manny's constant trade demands, Schilling's Bush-hugging, and Millar's rediculous catch-phrases. But sure enough, in the second quarter of the Celtics' poorly attended playoff game, the chant started. No, it wasn't a "Defense" or "Let's go Celtics chant", it was simply "Yankees Suck!"

Talk about faith. The fans did not care about the game. I turned to my horrified Irish buddy and he was red in the face, and he hadn't even been drinking. He said "don't fans in this country even care about the game they are watching? This is pitiful!" He went on to explain that in Ireland, whether its a game of rugby, hurling, hockey, or whatever, the fans come early and focus on one thing: cheering their team to a win, no matter how bad their record. So I knew I had to do it, I stood up and screamed at the top of my lungs from the Brooks Family Section "Do you even care about this team? Get up and let them know it!" As heroic as I felt, my effort was in vain. A few people turned around and looked confused with their pink Bo-Sox hats on their heads and Tom Brady jerseys hanging down to their ankles. The only guy who seemed moved at all was a dude in a Reggie Miller jersey, who seemed to be saying, "yo its not the yankees who suck, its the Celtic fans".

Boston sports fans, despite their faithful reputation, can be among the most fickle fans in the sports world. Take a look at the numbers. During the 2001-2002 season, the best year the Celtics have had since the Bird era (capped by the run that almost took them to the finals) fans left over 2000 seats empty per game at the Fleet. After their strong finish that year, attendance picked up by over 1000 per game the following season. These were the fans that didn't care the year before, those opportunists who waited for the Celtics to become vogue again, now with two all-stars and promising young players. Well look how much their support helped, they finished 8 games under .500 the next year, and the fans disappeared immediately (see the description of Pacers playoff game, above). Since then, attendance has dwindled by the thousands.

It makes sense in a way, when a team does well, people come, when they play badly, they don't. While that may be ok in some sports cities, it is not acceptable in a city like Boston, which claims to have the most devout fans, and a ungodly reputation among other sports fans to go along with it. But those fickle "fans" who love the Sox and Pats a wicked ton and forget about the Celtics except when they are in the third round of the playoffs are a huge part of the current plight of the Celtics. The team needs some excitement, some devout fans, some support besides the bankroll from Connecticut's shady Casinos. If people get excited, and give them some credit, they will play better.

The Celtics are not playing consistantly at all, I know. But that never stopped any Boston fan from supporting the Sox, or the Pats for that matter. You need to stay behind them whether Bird is leading them in scoring or if Todd Day is their biggest name. The ownership seems clueless. They don't realize that its the a problem of attitude among the fans as much as it is anything else. People have no patience to watch a team develop anymore. How can the Celtics maintain good players or sign free agents if ticket prices have actually deflated from the times of the old Boston Garden (I bought the cheapest ticket available back in '93 when i was 9, and it was $12 compared with today's $10).

So although this instalment is long and a bit of a diatribe, I hope somewhere in the cosmos there is a shift, and people stop complaining about the Celtics just being bad and using it as an excuse to wear Red Sox gear year round and start supporting the most successful team to ever play in this town. And I hope the TD B.N. Garden starts filling up with real fans again, propelling this team I love so much back to glory.

If for nothing else, do it so they stop pulling people to games by hiring the All-American Rejects to play afterwards. What's next? Walter McCarty singing "Moment for Love" at half time? I have an idea, how about the fan-favorite "Empty Seats and Army Men" night - guess they beat me to it.

CELTS PREPARE TO DELIVER MARK-BLOUNT-CONTRACT-SIZED BEATDOWN

Byron Scott, ten-time gold medalist at the Douche Bag Olympics, will lead his New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets to the Garden tonight.

The Hornets have been a surprise this season, sporting a 20-20 record even though most experts picked them to be one of the worst teams in the league. The Hornets are led by the lock for Rookie of the Year, Chris Paul, who is averaging 16 points and 7 assists per game. Also surprising has been the play of David West, who is averaging 16 points and 8 rebounds.

Beyond those two, the Hornets have an array of athletic role players, including Speedy Claxton, Desmond Mason, and P.J. Brown. The Hornets have several players that can step up, and have an athletic second line that plays aggressive defense and rebound the ball well for a small team.

Although the Hornets have a better overall record than the Celtics, the Celtics have more than enough weapons to pull out the victory.

THE KEYS TO VICTORY

1) CONTAIN THE DRIBBLE DRIVE. Delonte is going to have his hands full with Chris Paul. Paul directs an offense that has plenty of solid players, but very few playmakers. If Delonte can contain Paul's drives to the lane, the Hornets will struggle to score from the outside. The Hornets have been able to disguise their sub-average outside shooting by getting to the basket for easy shots. If the Hornets start jacking shots from the outside, the Celts will win this game.

2) FORCE THE HORNETS TO PLAY MACIEJ LAMPE. The Hornets are thin in the 4 and 5 spots. Chris Andersen is their best option off the bench. This is the man that has the ability to go 0-for-five on uncontested dunks. Backing him up his Maciej Lampe, the best basketball player in the history of Poland.... which is akin to being the best bullfighter in Alaska.

If the Celtics attack the basket, perhaps they can force the Hornets to play the 6-11 Polish sensation. If Lampe enters the game before the final two minutes, the Celtics will win, guaranteed.



3) TAKE OVER THE PAINT. The Celtics have a strength advantage inside, as long as Doc plays Perkins and Jefferson. The Celts will have to do a good job cleaning the glass on defense and limiting second-chance opportunities. The Hornets love to crash the boards from the guard spots, so the Celtics wing players will have to do a good job sealing their man on rebounds.

4) LOGICAL COACHING. With Doc, you just never know.

PREDICTION

CELTICS 91, HORNETS 83