The Iverson Trade

There has been a lot of buzz about a Sixers-Celtics trade regarding Allen Iverson. I don't really have a position on the matter as I start to type this post, but hopefully by weighing out the pros and the cons I will come to a conclusion by the end.

PROS
1) Iverson is a top-tier player that sells tickets as well as anyone, jerseys as well as almost anyone, and would bring a lot of attention to the Celtics. My guess would be that putting Iverson in a Celtics jersey would give the Celtics a financial boost that they probably could use.

2) Iverson is the toughest player in the league and he always plays to win- at least the games he doesn't walk into the locker room with ten seconds left. He would give the Celtics a tougher identity that would be great for players like Perkins.

3) Maybe having Iverson on the team would prevent Theo Ratliff from exploding into a million pieces this year, because he has been injury-prone ever since leaving the Sixers.

4) Pierce needs someone to help with the scoring.

5) Having Iverson on the team would immediately give the Celtics more wins in a season.

6) Iverson would probably get along with Doc Rivers. Doc is a players' coach, much like Mo Cheeks. Having Iverson on his side would give Doc a lot more credibility with his own team and in the Boston press.

7) Getting Iverson would send a message to the world, "We're ready to win." Unfortunately, the world is probably screening their calls and don't pick up when the Celtics call.

CONS
1) Iverson is incapable of sharing a team. He averages a good number of assists, but he has never learned how to play within a team offense. He just runs around and drives to the basket. While that style has made Iverson one of the more exciting players to watch, he hasn't had that much team success with it. Personally, I don't think that he would be a good fit for the offensive scheme that the Celtics are trying to run. He demands at least five dribbles a possession, and wants to play in an offense where one guy goes one-on-one and the other four guys watch. There has never been a championship team that plays that way. While the Celtics' offense isn't potent, their desire to spread the ball around is how to build a winning franchise back up.

2) Iverson will not be coached, and he will not change his style. He has to be one of the least versatile players in the league.

3) The chances of Pierce and Iverson playing well together are slim. Pierce demands a lot of the ball, and so does Iverson. Not many other players for the Celtics would get the ball in position to score with any regularity.

4) Trading for Iverson would cost the Celtics too much. The front office has spent a lot to get the roster that we have now, both money-wise and time-wise, and it would be silly to break it up if they have believed in it so far. Do we really want to part with Wally and some of our precious young talent for a guy that would completely change the team chemistry? If it's worth it for the Celtics, what the hell have we been doing for the past four years?

MY FINAL ANALYSIS

I don't think the trade is worth it. If the Celtics have anything, it's tons of guards. Iverson may be a once-in-a-lifetime player, but he demands too much of a team for this group to be successful. I would hold out and try to make a move for a younger player, like Jermaine O'Neal, that will be more complementary to the Celtics' roster as it stands today. We don't need more people shooting jumpers, we need toughness down low. If the trade goes through, I will be optimistic, but I'm hoping for something better.

The Point Guard Rush of '06

I will start by saying that I am overseas and I did not watch the draft live... but if it means anything to anyone, I seriously considering missing the NBA Draft as a negative when I decided whether or not to come over. I did wake up early this morning to check the draft results, and I am puzzled, son!

The sad part was Shelden Williams getting drafted by the Hawks at fifth. Bah. I guess the Hawks and Shelden had matching promise rings before the draft. Now that the Hawks drafted him, I am seriously reconsidering my high opinion of him as a player. I mean, if you agree wholeheartedly with the Hawks' front office, you have to be a basketball idiot.

So, the Celtics took Randy Foye with the seventh pick. Nice! Then they traded him, Raef, and Dickau for Telfair and Theo Ratliff.

I must say it's sad to see Raef go, because it wasn't his fault the Celtics threw all kinds of money at him that he could never hope to earn. He played hard, but I thought he was a fundamentally flawed big man that was never a good fit for the Celtics. As for Dickau, I think a high school dropout can fill his job of making sure no one steals Big Macs from the Garden Micky D's. As sad as it is for a white dude like myself, getting ride of some whities is usually an upgrade in the NBA.

Getting rid of Foye may end up being one of those, "What were they thinking?" trades five years down the line, but I think that Telfair is a pretty decent player. As Bill Simmons mentioned, he's better than any point guard in the draft or available in free agency. Theo Ratliff is nothing to get thrilled about, but he basically does the things that Raef does poorly. He blocks shots, runs around, and gets rebounds. However, while he used to be known for blocking shots, now he's known for getting injured and riding the bench. I hope he can pull it together, because I loved him for the Sixers before he got banished to the Hawks and Blazers. At the very least, he will be a good training partner for Big Al and Perkination.

As for Telfair, I remember when I watched the "Through the Fire" DVD, I said, "What a little prick. I'm glad he doesn't play for the Celtics." Then, when he got caught with guns hidden in a pillowcase on a team flight, I thought, "If he was on the Celtics, he'd be Joe Forte without the Scooby-Doo jersey".

So, now that the Celtics have him, I'm thinking- whatever, he's a good enough player, and hopefully this will quench Danny's lust for point guards. Telfair plays hard. He goes after the ball, and his decisions with the ball are pretty good. He plays more like a point guard than he did in high school. On the court, I think he's a good fit for the C's. Off the floor, well, let's just hope that Tony Allen gets traded or goes to prison before they Telfair starts beating up strangers in sketchy Chicago bars.

Then, the second part of the day- the Brian Grant deal. This one was a no-brainer. Kandi Man's contract is up, and we need a deadbeat with dreadlocks to stink up the part of the bench furthest away from the coaching staff. The Celtics gave up a future first rounder in 2007, but they got Rajon Rondo- the only player in the draft that looks like a baby turtle. I can understand this one if the Celtics were really hot on Rondo and they only gave up the extra draft pick they got from the Cavs in the Jiri Welsh trade. So what- the Cavs will be a playoff team again next year and the pick won't be worth much more than Rondo anyway.

The Celtics also aquired Leon Powe from California, who was an idiot for coming out early because he would have owned the NCAA next year and been a top 10 pick instead of a second-rounder. Oh well. I think he's a good player, but I can't see the Celtics working him into the rotation... especially with Brian Grant in the hizzouse.

OVERALL

For the Celtics' ambitions, the draft was successful. They got a point guard they wanted (Telfair), a backup point guard that is an upgrade over Dickau (Rondo), they got rid of Raef's ridiculous contract and zero inside presence in exchange for Ratliff's ridiculous contract (but one year less) and shot-blocking ability. As for Powe... my guess is that he'll be a Celtics trivia question in a few weeks. If the Celtics want to win right away, they got more NBA experience than anyone else in the draft, and they have some decent pieces for a trade in a week or two. Successful draft, unless you're an Orien Greene fan. He's not going to be around for much longer, but I'll be willing to guess that he'll land somewhere and make enough money to pay off his speeding tickets.

Personally, I am pleased. I don't understand why we need three point guards on a roster, but perhaps the C's are going to move Delonte to the two guard position full time. I don't get that, but I can live with it.

Let's cross our fingers for a big offseason!

Back in Business

Finally- I am back posting on the greatest website in the world.

First of all, I apologize for my lack of posting. I have been as AWOL as JJ Redick’s common sense in the last couple weeks. It was limited internet access and a completely wack work schedule.

I just have to get a little Duke bashing off my chest here. I*Heart*Celtics heartthrob Nic will attest to the fact that I have argued for the Celtics drafting Shelden Williams, and I may have even said that JJ Redick would be a “steal”. I am here to say that if the Celtics draft JJ, the only “steal” that will be involved will be when JJ dips into the Kandi Man’s locker room peyote stash.

If that Halo-playing loser gets drafted by the Celtics, I am here to say that I will respond personally by...um....watching every game on TV and going to as many games in person as I can. I won’t really do anything different, I guess. The Celtics could draft AC Earl’s little sister and I would do that same thing.

HOWEVER! It would be a terrible decision, and all this “talk” that I heard prior to my internet isolation was about how the Celtics were thinking long and hard about drafting him as high as their pick at seven. YAMMA HAMMA!

Why would be need JJ Redick? Here’s what they say- he has NBA range! He was a first team All-American! He’s some kind of weird Christian!

Sweet. We already have one Dan Dickau, and there’s a reason why that white boy is working the foodcourt at the Garden instead of the backcourt.

JJ is a one-dimensional player. Sure, Coach K’s top pupil is armed with more than just a jump shot- he’s a pot-smoking Christian poet with a penchant for hauling around campus with a popped collar and one wine cooler too many. I wonder if he was partying with those sketchy-ass lacrosse dudes that get in fights over money with haggard-looking strippers at team functions. Duke, it’s been a pleasure watching your squeaky-clean public image go down in flames like the Kandi Man’s latest doobie.

Back to JJ- the Celtics do not need another shooter. We traded for Wally. Pierce can shoot the three. DWest can shoot the three. Raef averages as many three-pointers as rebounds. The G-Spot can drill the three and he only has nine damn fingers. Even Dickau can shoot the three. Gomes tossed in a few. Tony Allen was even making three-pointers at the end of the season, and OGreene made a couple, too. Scalabrine makes threes, too- but it’s three trips to the buffet line at Chuck-O-Rama.

The last thing the Celtics need is a three-point shooter, and that is all Redick brings to the table. The Celtics didn’t have trouble spreading the floor with shooters. If that was a serious problem, Paul wouldn’t have had the great year he did. He had plenty of room to manuever in the paint.

The big men didn’t have problems getting shots off, either. Defenses didn’t collapse on them, they just didn’t have much profiency putting the friggin’ ball in the basket.

All this talk about subpar point guard play is wack, and it’s my suspicion that if Chris Paul didn’t have the year he did, Celtics fans wouldn’t be talking about how much the Celtics need a Chris Paul player.... because Paul; led the Hornets to the Promised Land- the NBA Draft Lottery again. A point guard can’t do it all himself. Delonte is an excellent shooter, a smart and effecient passer, a good defender, a hustler on and off the floor, and a rapidly developing floor general. The Miami Heat just won the title with Jason Williams and Grampy Payton, for crying out loud! That’s certainly not the ideal model... but those guys had a significant impact on one out of every three games, between the two of them, for their entire playoff run. Delonte gives you a lot more than those two, plus he’s the mack. The Celtics had numerous problems last year, but I don’t think that point guard play was even in the top ten!


The main problems the Celtics had last season were:
1) Coaching.
2) Perimeter defense.
3) Reacting to the midseason trade.
4) Defending the paint.
5) Transition defense.
6) Rebounding.
7) Injuries.
8) Consistant secondary scoring.
9) Scalabrine eating everyone’s candy bars.
10) Lack of Celtic Dancers.

Of these problems, the coaching has improved with the addition of Cliff Ray. The trade is over and the chemistry is decent. The secondary scoring should solve itself with several players ready to make the jump. Injuries are a roll of the dice for everyone.

I believe that several of these team problems, namely paint defense and rebounding, would be solved by drafting a defensive-minded big man... like Shelden Williams from Duke. Since Big Al and Big Texas have a penchant for breaking their bodies and Raef’s legs look like Robocop’s... a solid big man would even help the injury problems on the front line.

Now, everyone knows that I hate Duke, and I believe that Coach K is the biggest conman in sports, but I can’t help but think that the Down’s Syndrome Alleged Rapist is the best fit for the green. He’s a capable scorer, which is all we would need out of him. At the very least, he’s got that 15-foot jump shot that Doc Rivers has wet dreams about. His assets of fundamental rebounding, shot-blocking, and general on-court thuggery is exactly what the Celtics need.

So, Danny, I know you’re reading this blog. First step, get a haircut. Second, draft someone that would help this team or drop this pick like a hot rock and get a solid veteran so we can start winning right away.

What I want to see in 2006-2007

Surely today, June 18, 2006, is not the hottest day on the Celtics calendar. Right now the World Cup has claimed the majority of my sports attention, rightfully so because it is the single best event, not just sporting event, in the world. Lets face it, the Olympics are kind of lame, no one cares that much and all they show is ice skating in the winter and gymnastics in the summer. World Cup Soccer is one event where it is exciting no matter what match you watch. I don't care if you are watching Argentina or if you are watching the yet to score a goal on their own USA, every minute has been riveting, and it is so good for everyone to be excited and proud for once, instead of the usual depressing state of events in the world.

That being said, I have been thinking about the Celtics a lot tonight, probably due to me once again breaking out the Celtics Dynasty Series DVD. tonight i watched game seven on the 1984 NBA Finals where the Celtics beat the Lakers for championship 15. As much as i loved the game, I'd have to say the greatest moment came after the game in the locker room when all the Celtics were pouring champagne over each other's heads, and Larry Bird sneaks up behind Red Auerbach being interviewed by Brent Mussburger and pours a PBR (Thats Pabst Blue Ribbon for those of you who live in the slow lane) right over Red's head. Amazing.

That moment said a lot about the state of the team. They were friends, family even, they messed around, had a good time, won championships. That type of atmosphere, fostered by coach KC Jones, needs to return to the Celtics.

With Doc at the helm, I don't know if that is really possible, but Rivers aside, I think the Celtics team is poised for great chemistry in 06-07. I hope to god that Danny =Ainge stops and thinks for a minute, and finally realizes that overhauling the entire roster twice per year is not going to get anyone anywhere. Sure we have a bunch of young, raw talent. But at this point, its starting to get fun to watch. I mean, is getting a veteran like Grant Long really going to help the team at all? Sure the Celtics are a young team, based on the following picture of the squad taken yesterday:



Nevertheless i feel that if this team gets two more years experience with each other, they will be much better off then picking up some random guy who has 100 years experience with the Orlando Magic.

I'd like to see a year where the Celtics reconnect with the fans, or maybe better put, the fans reconnect with the Celtics. The Red Sox and Patriots are boring, lets face it. Their fans are a dime a dozen. The Celtics are a team that right now, actually feel like they belong to the fans. When I watch a Celtics game or go to the Garden, they feel like MY team. When I see someonw around town wearing a Celtics shirt, I feel like I'm seeing a family member walk down the street. The Celtics require a great deal of patience and attention, which turns many people off. I love this team so much. I don't even remember what i set off to write this blog about, but i was beaming with Celtics affection, so i figured i would ditch my normal sarcastic humor and just rant. I love the Celtics, even in the middle of June. I can't wait for the draft, I cant wait for Vegas camp, and I cant wait for next season.

Toine-V-P

He's been called selfish. He's been called a show-boat. Some people even say his head looks like a milk-dud. Well it turns out Boston's favorite scapegoat heading to the NBA Finals, and no one thinks he's a dud anymore.
When you think of the word "winner," Antoine Walker is not the first word that comes to mind, but if you take a look at his career, thats the only thing he knows how to do. Antoine was the focal point of a great Kentucky Wildcat team leading them to the NCAA Championship. His college days alone put him in an elite class of players. But while the Christian Latners of the wolrd were content sitting on their college legacy, Toine' was just getting warmed up. Drafted to the Boston Celtics, he took on the monumental task of reviving the winningest franchise in NBA history. Many greats the likes of M.L. Carr, Dwayne Schinseus, and Rick Pitino, saw their careers tainted while trying to do so. Not Antoine Walker. He put the franchise on his back and with his co-captain Paul Pierce brought the team out of the gutter and into the Eastern Conference finals in just a few short years.
Now Toine finds himself on the verge of an NBA Championship. People can question his shot selection, but theres no questioning the results. It may hurt Bob Ryans ears to hear this, but Antoine Walker is synonomous with winning.
Now before all you Toine haters get your panties in a bunch, I know what your thinking. Shaq, (arguably the most dominant big man ever) + Dwayne Wade (future hall of famer) + who gives a crap, (you could team them with Brian Scalabrine if you wanted)= A decent shot at NBA title. Well guess what. They said the same thing when he was on the Celtics. They thought Pierce was making him look good and Antoine was detremental to the team's future. So what happened? They traded him and the C's sucked. Pierce went into a comma and the team was never the same. What happened when they brought him back? They immedietly won 11 in a row and became the team to beat in the east. When he left again? A losing season with no playoffs, even when Pierce had an MVP caliber season.
Even with Dwaye Wade and Shaq, the Heat found how valuable Walker can be. Early in the season when Toine' clashed with the team, they lolligegged through the first half of the season barely hovering above .500. Once he found his nitch and was put back in the starting line-up the Heat went on a tear and ran away with the second playoff spot. It didn't stop there. His experience was a big reason the Heat escaped the first round against the Bulls and the chemistry they have developed throughout the playoffs. Every time the Heat needed a boost Toine was there to drill a big 3 or grab an offensive board. Antoine has always been notorious for poor decision making, but this postseason he has played like a true vetran providing the X factor the Heat needed to bring their game to the next level.
No one will say Antoine's game is perfect. Few would even say his game is pretty. No one however will ever question his heart and the bottom line is, where ever he goes, he wins. While Danny and Doc sit at home watching the playoffs, Antoine Walker is living them and just maybe he will get whats been coming to him all these years.

News, Notes, Retroactive MVP Voting, Pistons Bashing, and Summer League team set

-The Summer League roster has been set.

Gerald Green, Big Al, Sweet Baby Gomes, Speedin' Orien Greene, and... wait for it... DWAYNE MOTHER******* JONES!!! I was suprised to see Jones on the roster, but then you have to figure that Perkins will be rehabbing this summer (ARGH) and Tony will spend the summer months paying off every judge in the Midwest.

Dwayne Jones strikes me as the kind of player that would tear up the Summer League, Joe Forte-style. Somehow, the 12th man on the Celtics is always good for some Summer League heroics... but so far Joe Forte is the only 12th man to pull off the vaunted "Summer League All-Star/Getting Pulled Over With a Loaded Gun/Wearing a Scooby-Doo T-Shirt During the Playoffs" trifecta.

-The NBA suspended DJ Mbenga for six games, which was surprising. I didn't even know that DJ Mbenga is a player in the NBA. Actually, he's not on the playoff roster, and he was suspended for going into the stands to protect Avery Johnson's wife. Aparantly, Mbenga didn't actually DO anything except talk to Mark Cuban about it.

He got suspended for six games. Antonio Davis got five games for running into the stands like the T-1000 from Terminator 2 to "protect" his wife, who was out of control. The league didn't give Davis any more games for knowingly bringing a belligerant psychopath in to the stadium with him.

Then again, inconsistant and clearly idiotic punishments are par for the course for Stern and Stu.

More material for my soon-to-be-published book: "Terrible Refs, Lame New Franchises, and Maoist Disciplinary Procedures: The David Stern Era".

-The Kings hired Eric Musselman as their new head coach, proving once again that career record has nothing to do with getting a new job in the NBA.

-Looking back on the MVP voting, it's clear to me that they need to elect the MVP after the playoffs.

Kobe wouldn't even be in consideration after that Vince Carter-like quit job he did in Game 7. Finally, the world saw what a selfish bastard Kobe is in such clear black-and-white terms that you'd have to be completely brain dead, or an LA fan- but they're the same thing- to remain a Kobe advocate.

Steve Nash would be questionable at best after an on-again, off-again playoff run in which he has almost never been the best player on his own team. His most memorable moment was getting posterized by Kobe, and he's your MVP?

If the voting was after the playoffs, I think it would be a duel between Dirk and DWade. BronBron would be the dark horse, Nash would be the afterthought, and that's the way it should have been.

-How satisfying was it to watch the Pistons go down in flames last night? Joe Dumars has gone from being one of the brilliant GM's in the league (trading for 'Sheed, signing the starters, etc.) to being among the worst. Now, Isiah set the bar pretty low, but let's just say that he's in the bottom 25%.

The Pistons now have no draft picks. They have nobody coming off the bench. They have no cap room, and it looks like they're going to have to fire their coach, who they hired despite a career 36% winning percentage in the playoffs.

To add more fuel to the fire, the Pistons are being exposed as the prissy prima donnas they are. Other than that sweet block on Shaq, Ben Wallace has been overwhelmed down low. Even Drew Gooden was making him look bad. To make matters worse, he shoots free throws with French military precision and don't get me started on his whining. Plus, he wants to get big money somewhere else.

Rasheed Wallace is a doll when he's winning, not so much when he's losing. Plus, he now only shows up in roughly 45% of playoff games, is wrong on his bold predictions, and gets smoked on defense like Shawn Bradley after an all-night board game bender.

What really bugs me is everyone talking about the "End of a Dynasty" or some crap. Excuse me? To Finals appearances is not a dynasty. Now, if Dumars had drafted Bosh or DWade instead of Darko, we'd be talking about a dynasty.

WHOOPS!

Celtics Update: Scals still a lovable lard-ass, Kandi-Man still addicted to crack, wife beating

As the draft rapidly approaches (only 26 days, 19 hours, 6 minutes, 4 seconds says nbadraft.net), I thought it was time to focus on what our actual (not projected) players are doing right now.

Doc Rivers gave some insight into just that, by telling Celtics.com what he expects each player to improve on in the off season:

Michael Olowokandi - "Conditioning and knowing our system better."
Translation: Packing up his locker and scrubbing the coke off the toilet seats. This dude's gone.

Brian Scalabrine - "Scal - learning and accepting our system and staying within himself. I think the in-between shot instead of taking it all the way to the basket."
Translation: Eating less poutin (a delicacy in Quebec consisting of french fries covered in gravy) and switching from bubble-tape to trident.

Wally Szczerbiak - "Wally - getting healthy and us continually learning from what the best way is for him to score."
Translation: Doc, you think this guy needs to learn how to score? Which cheerleaders have you been talking to?

Dwayne Jones - "Dwayne Jones - really just learning our system...he is just too new."
Translation: Better carpool with the Kandi-Man, you lanky bastard.

And my advice for Doc?: "Learn how to coach you ass. Looking mad and drawing pictures of boobies on your dry erase basketball clipboard ain't how red won all those championships. Go punch annoying team owners in the face, do some jumping-jacks in practice, something, anything..."

And to Danny Ainge, please draft Brandon Roy....

What?