CELTICS TAKE IT ON THE CHIN

CELTICS LOSE 11th IN A ROW; WORST HOME RECORD IN THE LEAGUE; NECK AND NECK WITH THE GRIZZLIES FOR WORST RECORD IN THE LEAGUE

This one wasn't as close as the last time the Celtics played the Wizards, thanks to terrible performances from Big Al (3-12 from the field) and Gerald (4-12), falling to the WIZZ 105-91. Agent Zero, Jamison, and Caron Butler were all scoring at will in the second half, Doc was wearing a turtle-neck and jacket combination because he was going to a poetry slam right afterwards... this one was ugly. Let's get straight to those superlatives, why don't we?

Chairman of the Board: Delonte West. 22 points, 11 assists, 4 boards, and only 1 turnover. Meanwhile, Sebastian Telfair had no points in 4 minutes, and the players the Celtics could have had in the draft instead of trading for him are battling for Rookie of the Year.

LVP: Andray Blanche. He played for two minutes and literally didn't accomplish anything statistically. Powe played the same amount and grabbed a rebound, proving that Danny Ainge does much better than most at drafting second-round benchwarmers.

Doc's Suit: F
Drab suit with a black turtleneck... next up is an unfiltered smoking habit, nonsensical babble poetry, and an artsy heroin addict girlfriend. Doc, you're a basketball coach, not a friggin beatnik. Get a grip.

UP NEXT:
Pacers on the road, Tuesday night.