Pierce Plays GM; I*Heart*Celtics Make Demands
The Celtics are clearly the worst team in the league, there isn't a winnable game in sight, the trade deadline has passed, and the draft is months away. Paul Pierce has been vocal lately about addressing the team's needs, and the general consensus is that Pierce will ask for a trade if the Celtics don't do something big to improve the team before next season. Who can blame him? For a potential Hall of Famer, the Celtics have surrounded him with a revolving door of rookies, white stiffs, winos, and derelicts. I*Heart*Celtics suggests that the Celtics develop a plan right away about how to keep their franchise superstar happy in the meantime. Here is how the front office should handle this potentially explosive situation.
1) Shut the f*** up about the draft. We all know Pierce doesn't want to build through the draft anymore. Bill Russell thinks it's idiotic. Red thought it was idiotic. The Celtics have a decent chance at landing a top-2 pick, but we know what happened when the Celtics tried to get Tim Duncan. Doc, if I hear you compare Oden to Bill Russell one more time I am going to take a dump on your front porch and stuff a Fish Filet sandwhich with extra mayo in your mailbox.
Also, I would like to add that the player NBADraft.net has ranked third right now is Brandon Wright from UNC. He's a big man with motivation problems and he even LOOKS likes a former brain damaged giraffe on the C's roster- Mark Blunt. I'm not saying he won't be a good player in the League... but this is a two-man draft, folks. (BTW, I'm not even that impressed by Oden, who went off for 11 points and 5 rebounds against Wisconsin the other day AFTER Wisco's best post player's elbow exploded.)
2) Identify the team's needs, state them publicly, and find people to fill those needs. The way the Celtics' front office worked back in the day is the complete opposite of how they operates now. In Red's heydey, they identified a player they wanted, and they did what it took to get him. They waited a year for Bird, they traded for DJ... they pulled out the stops for McHale and Parish... they had a plan. There's no need to take unnecessary risks (i.e. Raef and his knees, Baker and his debilitating alcoholism, Theo's back). Danny's "plan" has been to draft underrated college players and trade for the best available player with white skin and bad knees. That plan sucks. This isn't a card collection, Daniel, they're human beings. You can't build a team out of small forwards and undersized power forwards. It doesn't work.
3) Figure out some way to convince at least one person that you know what you're doing. If you can't find a single human being that defends your logic probably means that YOU are the crazy one. Some scholars defend the presidencies of jackasses like Franklin Pierce, for crying out loud. NO ONE agrees with the direction of the franchise. I see a bunch of asinine trades, good drafts, and zero chance that every young player will be able to be resigned. I see a lot of youngers I see a long-term development strategy with no end in sight. Good gravy, at least pay off Shira Springer or something.
4) Teach your coach how to... coach. It doesn't help your team's image when they are led by a dude that appears to be consulting a Magic 8 ball for advice in the fourth quarter. Will the Celtics be a winner with Doc as the coach? NOT LIKELY.
When your players hear from every sports-related media source that they suck... they tend to agree. When players think they suck, they don't play hard. When the players don't play hard, no new guy wants to come in and play for the Celtics. When no one wants to come to play for the Celtics, the team is forced to staff their team with players on their rookie contracts- oh wait...
5) Stop making excuses and give a real timeline. When can we expect the Celtics to be in the playoffs? Next year? Then, we should probably keep Pierce. Three years? You should probably trade him. His contract is enormous and he deserves bettter after all the hard work he's put in. If I got stabbed by gangsters, I wouldn't leave my house. Pierce had his best season ever. Respect that.
However, the thing is- are the Celtics going to make the playoffs in three years WITHOUT Pierce? Would Durant take them to the playoffs? Would Oden? Does a rookie EVER come in and lead a terrible team to the playoffs anymore?
6) Stop fooling around and bring Pierce up to the team offices, ask him what he needs to make the team a winner, and then do it. Paul has led more teams to the Eastern Conference finals than career role players like Ainge and Doc. He knows what it takes to win in the NBA.
Clearly, Danny Ainge doesn't have the kind of insight necessary to make the right moves. No jackass thought Vin Baker would be any good- except for Danny. No jackass thought that Raef would be more useful than 'Toine- except for Danny.
7) Do what is necessary. Make Paul Pierce the first captain-coach-GM in league history. He's the only Celtic that knows what he's doing anymore.
1) Shut the f*** up about the draft. We all know Pierce doesn't want to build through the draft anymore. Bill Russell thinks it's idiotic. Red thought it was idiotic. The Celtics have a decent chance at landing a top-2 pick, but we know what happened when the Celtics tried to get Tim Duncan. Doc, if I hear you compare Oden to Bill Russell one more time I am going to take a dump on your front porch and stuff a Fish Filet sandwhich with extra mayo in your mailbox.
Also, I would like to add that the player NBADraft.net has ranked third right now is Brandon Wright from UNC. He's a big man with motivation problems and he even LOOKS likes a former brain damaged giraffe on the C's roster- Mark Blunt. I'm not saying he won't be a good player in the League... but this is a two-man draft, folks. (BTW, I'm not even that impressed by Oden, who went off for 11 points and 5 rebounds against Wisconsin the other day AFTER Wisco's best post player's elbow exploded.)
2) Identify the team's needs, state them publicly, and find people to fill those needs. The way the Celtics' front office worked back in the day is the complete opposite of how they operates now. In Red's heydey, they identified a player they wanted, and they did what it took to get him. They waited a year for Bird, they traded for DJ... they pulled out the stops for McHale and Parish... they had a plan. There's no need to take unnecessary risks (i.e. Raef and his knees, Baker and his debilitating alcoholism, Theo's back). Danny's "plan" has been to draft underrated college players and trade for the best available player with white skin and bad knees. That plan sucks. This isn't a card collection, Daniel, they're human beings. You can't build a team out of small forwards and undersized power forwards. It doesn't work.
3) Figure out some way to convince at least one person that you know what you're doing. If you can't find a single human being that defends your logic probably means that YOU are the crazy one. Some scholars defend the presidencies of jackasses like Franklin Pierce, for crying out loud. NO ONE agrees with the direction of the franchise. I see a bunch of asinine trades, good drafts, and zero chance that every young player will be able to be resigned. I see a lot of youngers I see a long-term development strategy with no end in sight. Good gravy, at least pay off Shira Springer or something.
4) Teach your coach how to... coach. It doesn't help your team's image when they are led by a dude that appears to be consulting a Magic 8 ball for advice in the fourth quarter. Will the Celtics be a winner with Doc as the coach? NOT LIKELY.
When your players hear from every sports-related media source that they suck... they tend to agree. When players think they suck, they don't play hard. When the players don't play hard, no new guy wants to come in and play for the Celtics. When no one wants to come to play for the Celtics, the team is forced to staff their team with players on their rookie contracts- oh wait...
5) Stop making excuses and give a real timeline. When can we expect the Celtics to be in the playoffs? Next year? Then, we should probably keep Pierce. Three years? You should probably trade him. His contract is enormous and he deserves bettter after all the hard work he's put in. If I got stabbed by gangsters, I wouldn't leave my house. Pierce had his best season ever. Respect that.
However, the thing is- are the Celtics going to make the playoffs in three years WITHOUT Pierce? Would Durant take them to the playoffs? Would Oden? Does a rookie EVER come in and lead a terrible team to the playoffs anymore?
6) Stop fooling around and bring Pierce up to the team offices, ask him what he needs to make the team a winner, and then do it. Paul has led more teams to the Eastern Conference finals than career role players like Ainge and Doc. He knows what it takes to win in the NBA.
Clearly, Danny Ainge doesn't have the kind of insight necessary to make the right moves. No jackass thought Vin Baker would be any good- except for Danny. No jackass thought that Raef would be more useful than 'Toine- except for Danny.
7) Do what is necessary. Make Paul Pierce the first captain-coach-GM in league history. He's the only Celtic that knows what he's doing anymore.
posted by BP at
11:26 AM
3 Comments:
Alright BP,
I've been coming here awhile, but I think I'm just starting to see the beginning of a breakdown.
We can complain all we want, but the point is, if by the end of next season we dont have some wins and a playoff team... Danny is gone. Doc is gone. And all those (hopefully still) tradeable assets will be packed out with quickness and finality by whomever is next. Next year is the do or die swan song for Danny, and I think he knows it.
~Bukes
Danny didn't trade for Vin Baker. Sheesh. He's done some dumb things but get your facts right.
Oops!
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