Bulls Sweep the Celtics; BP Sighs, Tommy Cries, Bill Simmons Gets Boner
The Celtics got beaten tonight. The last time I remember the Celtics beating the Bulls, Rick Pitino was our new head coach and the Bulls had MJ and Scottie. Since then, it's been abysmal.
This game was weird. The Bulls were wearing these bizarre green uniforms that drove me insane, Ben Wallace was hitting turnaround jump shots, and the biggest dickhead on two legs- Tyrus Thomas- had a career night. You see, the Celtics implemented the genius "only guard Gordon, Hinrich, and Deng" strategy, which was about as intelligent as Gordon's pizza cooking strategy.
Just so you know, Ben W-w-w-w-w-ALLACE went 9-21 from the floor for 19 points. He also had 16 rebounds. Yes, no one was guarding him. However, he actually hit some jumpers, which I have never seen before.
The Celtics had a better night than the last time they played the Bulls, but they were never really in the running. The alarming trend as of late is that Pierce, Delonte, and Jefferson are the only players that score. Rondo had 3 points. Perk had 8, to his credit, but he was the next highest scorer. I guess with Tony Allen, Wally, and Gomes out, the Celtics miss a lot of their mid-range and perimeter scoring, but it is frustrating to watch Gerald have these 2-7 nights again... and again....
On to the superlatives.
MVP: Ben Wallace. The sound you just heard was Nic popping a raging mega huge boner.
LVP: Thabo Sefolosha. I don't know you, but when I try to say your name it sounds like I am blasting a wet fart out of my mouth. Also, you went 0-2 tonight in 8 minutes of uselessness.
Doc's Suit: A
Finally, a little color. Doc's suits are usually drab and depressing, so it was nice to see a little splash of a nice spring blue.
Scal Watch: Tommy was singing his praises, but he was 1-5 from the floor with 4 awful fouls. It looked like he was playing basketball wearing oven mitts.
UP NEXT: Hawks at home tomorrow night. I watched the epic Bird vs. Nique game on ESPN Classic today. I predict this game will not be as good.
This game was weird. The Bulls were wearing these bizarre green uniforms that drove me insane, Ben Wallace was hitting turnaround jump shots, and the biggest dickhead on two legs- Tyrus Thomas- had a career night. You see, the Celtics implemented the genius "only guard Gordon, Hinrich, and Deng" strategy, which was about as intelligent as Gordon's pizza cooking strategy.
Just so you know, Ben W-w-w-w-w-ALLACE went 9-21 from the floor for 19 points. He also had 16 rebounds. Yes, no one was guarding him. However, he actually hit some jumpers, which I have never seen before.
The Celtics had a better night than the last time they played the Bulls, but they were never really in the running. The alarming trend as of late is that Pierce, Delonte, and Jefferson are the only players that score. Rondo had 3 points. Perk had 8, to his credit, but he was the next highest scorer. I guess with Tony Allen, Wally, and Gomes out, the Celtics miss a lot of their mid-range and perimeter scoring, but it is frustrating to watch Gerald have these 2-7 nights again... and again....
On to the superlatives.
MVP: Ben Wallace. The sound you just heard was Nic popping a raging mega huge boner.
LVP: Thabo Sefolosha. I don't know you, but when I try to say your name it sounds like I am blasting a wet fart out of my mouth. Also, you went 0-2 tonight in 8 minutes of uselessness.
Doc's Suit: A
Finally, a little color. Doc's suits are usually drab and depressing, so it was nice to see a little splash of a nice spring blue.
Scal Watch: Tommy was singing his praises, but he was 1-5 from the floor with 4 awful fouls. It looked like he was playing basketball wearing oven mitts.
UP NEXT: Hawks at home tomorrow night. I watched the epic Bird vs. Nique game on ESPN Classic today. I predict this game will not be as good.
posted by BP at
11:20 PM
1 Comments:
"Scal Watch: Tommy was singing his praises, but he was 1-5 from the floor with 4 awful fouls. It looked like he was playing basketball wearing oven mitts."
Oven mitts or Hamburger Helper mitts?
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