My Super Celtics Sweet 16!!!!!
Let's face it, despite the fact that Texas A&M offers it as a minor, "Bracketology" is a soft science. My bracket is more busted than Delonte West's bathroom mirror; More busted than Orien Greene's transmission after picking up his kid's at soccer practice; More busted than Scal's high school promdate; More busted than Kandi-Man with a pack of zigzags and a visine bottle at a cop convention!!!
Picking teams based on a mixture of favoritism, coaching, and regular-season performance never done nobody no good, especially me. So instead of trying to out think the pundits for tonight's games via my usual, ineffective methods, I have devised a novel plan: pick the winner based on which Celtics (and former Celtics) played for each team. Below I have listed the matchups for the four games tonight, and after each school I listed which Celtics call each of them their alma mater. After each list, I pick a winner. Easy as that...let's dance!
Southern Illinois - Chris Carr (Celtics 2000-2001)
vs.
University of Kansas - Paul Pierce, JoJo White, Raef LaFrentz
Pick: Kansas blows apart the Saluki defense, somewhere in Oregon Raef blows out his knee again, and the Jayhawks win by 12.
Memphis - Andre Turner (1986-1987)
vs.
Texas A&M - No one.
Pick: As Andre Turner and perhaps his mom will still tell you, "No one is better than Andre Turner," so we'll have to listen to the man. A&M will end Memphis' monster Conference USA winning streak in a close one. A&M by 4.0, coincidentally the average GPA of every student in the school's mandatory student-athlete poultry science course.
Pittsburgh - Mark "Retarded Giraffe" Blount
vs.
UCLA - Bill Walton, Tyus Edney, Jerome Moiso, Sidney Wicks
Pick: Though Moiso was a bust, Blount is a bitch. UCLA by 6.
Tennessee - Steve Hamer (1996-1997)
vs.
THE Ohio State - John Havlicek
Pick: Although the first half might be "Hamer time" for the Vols, look for Havlicek's sixth-man style to kick in down the stretch and win this crazy game of poker for the Buckeyes. OSU by 3.
Tune in the same time tomorrow for my picks for tomorrow night's games!
posted by Sullivan at
1:42 PM
2 Comments:
I would type out a well-reasoned rebuttal to your shameless Aggie bashing but I have a 1-page paper due tomorrow in my Poultry Science course entitled, "BBQ or Honey Mustard: Which Tastes Better on Your McNuggets?"
Anyway, screw you, Mr!
I think OSU's victory depends on whether Havlicek had to do back-to-back all-nighters preparing for his "History of Rock and Roll" midterm.
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