Pinkney Busted for DUI

Listen, Kevinnnn, just because you scored 15 points in the NBA doesn't mean you have to start behaving like a 5-year veteran. Here are the details:

[Pinkney was] spotted at Sutro and Carville weaving in and out of his travel lane at 1:53 a.m. Thursday. He was given field sobriety tests, which he failed and he was booked for DUI, failing to maintain a lane and careless driving, according to the police report. He was released on his own recognizance at 6:45 a.m. Thursday.

First of all, as a warning for all of our beloved readers- if you're in a town where an NBA player is hanging out, living, or crashing on somebody's couch, we would advise that you stay off the roads between the hours of 1:30am and 2:30am, because chances are that player is hammered, jerking off, and switching lanes at random with an unregistered loaded gun under the driver's seat. Usually, you should keep your eyes peeled for Escalades and Hummers, but this Pinkney situation adds a wrinkle- the NBA player could be driving a 1973 AMC Gremlin.

It's too bad for Kevinn Pinkney, because he's on the brink of the NBA and played suprisingly well during a 10-day contract with the C's. This incident will not help him land with a team. However, it's impossible to feel sorry for somebody busted for DUI, because you have to be driving like a complete ass to be noticed by the police and pulled over- especially in frikkin' RENO. Also, DUI is one of the inexcusable offenses. Pinkney wasn't smoking a fat blunt while watching, "Girls Gone Wild" in a Motel 6 with the Kandi Man, minding his own business and not hurting anybody. He's putting every redneck, degenerate gambler, and meth head in Reno in danger. So, Pinkney deserves whatever is coming for him, which is probably a fine, a couple hours of half-assed community service, and a sullied reputation in the League.