FORMER CELTIC WILL BYNUM INCITES MIDDLE EAST VIOLENCE

A player best known to Celtics fans as being Tony Allen's high school teammate and a perennial summer leaguer with the squad- Will Bynum- has been showcasing his skills for Maccabi Tel Aviv lately. He went out to celebrate his birthday the other night and it quickly became disastrous. Allegedly, Bynum ran over a dude with his car, blood was everywhere, and it's a mess. Thanks to Deadspin and Hoopshype for the heads-up.

Maccabi Tel Aviv center Will Bynum was arrested yesterday morning on suspicion of running over a young man outside a south Tel Aviv nightclub and of fleeing the scene of the accident. The alleged victim, a 22-year-old man from Dimona, was in a serious but stable condition last night at Tel Aviv's Ichilov Hospital.

Bynum's remand was extended last night until today by the Tel Aviv Magistrate's Court.Bynum told police that he did was unaware that he had hit anyone with his car. Police say that the player is cooperating with their inquiry, but that his version of events is substantially different from testimony provided by eyewitnesses.

Sometimes these things sound like a bigger deal than they are. For example, Deron Williams got in a scuffle in Park City during his rookie year that got a ton of coverage (mostly because Williams said his name was Torrey Ellis). When the story came out fully, it turned out that it was just a bunch of Nuggets fans being douchebags picking a fight with them. So, sometimes these "incidents" are overblown in the initial report. However...

Police believe that Bynum arrived at the G-Spot nightclub just before midnight on Friday to celebrate his 25th birthday. He was accompanied by his brother and was joined by a few friends, including his Maccabi Tel Aviv teammate and former Philadelphia 76ers star Vonteego Cummings. Police say there were also players from other teams at the nightclub, which is popular with professional athletes.

"During the course of the night," the officer in charge of the investigation, Rafi Regev, said, "some sort of spat developed between Bynum and another group at the nightclub - members of the Hebrew Israelite Community in Dimona.

Let's get the obvious things out of the way. First, the club is called the G-Spot. Second, Bynum is referred to as a "center", although he's tiny. Third, some guy named Vonteego Cummings was a star on the 76ers at some point. I am going to chalk all of those up to cultural/translation issues, but they're still funny to me. Anyway...

It starts out looking like this is a classic case of an athlete getting harassed by a bunch of Israelites at a nightclub. He goes after a chick, the Israelites get pissed...

Bynum rejected the youths' claim that the argument began when he made advances toward a woman from the Dimona group. Bynum said he was provoked into a scuffle when one of the group pushed him over. The scuffle quickly died down and the club's security staff were not called in.

Here's where the story turns Middle-East-meets-Stephen-Jackson...

When Bynum, his brother and Cummings left the club at around 5:30, however, he was greeted outside by five youths from Dimona, and within minutes fists and stones were flying. According to eyewitnesses, Bynum and his brother ran to his car, which was parked nearby, got in and drove toward the group. After hitting one member of the group, Bynum sped off.

Uh oh... hitting someone with your car is ALWAYS a disaster. Never a good move.

Police say that when they arrived at Bynum's apartment some two hours later he did not appear surprised to see them, but protested his innocence when told of the accusations against him. An inspection of Bynum's car found obvious indications of an accident, including bloodstains. Cummings and Bynum's brother were detained, but released after submitting depositions.

Eyewitness accounts and forensic evidence would seem to dispel any doubt that the 22-year-old was run over. Police will now have to determine whether Bynum was aware that he had hit someone, or whether - in the heat of the moment - he was genuinely unaware that someone had been hurt.

Looks bad for Bynum. However, he lawyered up well (or, um, "chairmaned up"?) because his explanation does sound reasonably credible!

Maccabi Tel Aviv chairman Shimon Mizrahi, who represented Bynum in court (while David Federman provided the player with simultaneous translation of the hearing), told the court, "When Will Bynum left the nightclub, there were 20 people waiting for him outside, one of them carrying a knife."

That does sound scary. Here is the I*Heart*Celtics solution to avoiding this problem:

1) Don't GO to Tel Aviv, let alone live there.
2) If you are in a club where people with Zionist-extremist-sounding names hang out, go somewhere else.
3) Don't hit on chicks that hang out with said groups.
4) Limit the size of your entourage.
5) Leave the club before 5:30 in the morning.
6) Learn to speak a little bit of the language!
7) Travel via helicopter.

Here's hoping that Will turns out ok so he can break Khalid El-Amin's record for Celtics summer league appearances. (I guess #8 on that list should be "Don't be name Khalid El-Amin") Godspeed, Will!