Happy Frickin' Holidays. UGLY Game In Portland Leads to 3rd Loss in 4 Games.

First Kobe took a dump in our Christmas stockings. Then the Golden State Warriors crashed Chanukah. Now on the eve of New Years Eve, a Roy-less Portland Trail Blazers finished 2008 delivering the Celtics their 3rd loss in the last week. Thats more losses than they had in the last two months.

Sure no one's panicking. The Celtics are at the end of a long Western road trip, and its only natural that they fade. But for a while we thought the Celtics were near invincible, and now all of a sudden we are finding a few holes in the Celtic's underwear.

The Celtics are just one big-man short. We saw it last night and we've seen it before. Leone and Baby have been doing their thang, but they lack a true backup center. Especially, since Patrick O'Bryant has a warm-up suit fused to his body.

The same can be said for the point guard position. Eddie House is not a point guard. He's fine to get by, but when the chips are down, we need a backup to run the show. While Gabe Pruitt does a lot of smiling, he does not do a lot of playing. Until Starbury arrives, the Celtics will just have to make do.


These 3 losses were more of a fluke than anything, but keep in mind the Celtics are not perfect. The NBA cream of the crop is creamier this year and if the Celtics are going to outlast the Cavs, Hawks, and Lakers, again this year, they still have work to do.

BEAT LA

BIG BABY GETS JIGGILY ON THE BENCH (GLAD HE'S OK); CHANT STARTS WITH FIVE MINUTES LEFT OF LATEST BLOWOUT WIN FOR THE CELTICS; SIXERS ARE THE LATEST TEAM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HARSH TREATMENT WHILE BEING HUMILIATED

The Celtics put on another clinic tonight, and again the opponent complained about the trash talk. I love this stuff. Memo to humanity- if you're losing, and you're complaining about the behavior of the team beating you, shut up and get better. Honestly. Iguodala is the latest:

Sixers forward Andre Iguodala complained about the Celtics' trash-talking and warned them to heed the lesson set by another confident Boston team that won 18 straight before losing No. 19.

"Something like the Patriots. They were undefeated and lost in the finals," Iguodala said of the NFL team that lost in the Super Bowl after a season of running up the score. "Everyone knows they [the Celtics] won a championship and everyone knows they're a great team. It takes away from the feat. Teams don't respect that."

Listen Andre, you're fast being mentioned amongst the worst contracts in the league. Your team is 12-16 after making the biggest offseason free agent splash in the offseason. Someone might beat the Celtics, but I don't think it's going to be you, Andre. In fact, unless you do something drastic, you might worry a little less about what the Celtics are saying and more about being behind the Milwaukee Bucks in the standings. Yes, the Milwaukee Bucks.

The Celtics let their bench stretch their legs out a bit, Leon Powe got some serious reps at the free throw line, and Scals had a sweet pass to set up a Powe jam. Scals, as a matter of fact, has been pretty damn good lately, so props to him. The C's looked loose, yet fired up to beat the piss out of those nancy boys sunning themselves in Los Angeles.

UP NEXT: CHRISTMAS MASSACRE IN L.A.

BIG BABY GETS IN (ANOTHER) CAR ACCIDENT; CELTICS WIN 18th STRAIGHT

AWKWARD
First of all, hopefully Big Baby can bounce back quickly, but it is a little worrisome that he gets into dangerous car accidents on what seems to be a fairly regular basis. (There was a bad one back in college.) While it certainly isn't fair to conclude that Big Baby is a bad driver- it could be bad luck- I just hope that Big Baby minds his 10's and 2's, signals properly, and does not funnel cake batter whilst driving.

As for the game tonight, the Celtics won their 18th straight. People keep on saying that the Celtics can break the record for best start by a team with two losses. If anyone could explain what the hell this means I would appreciate it. With two losses? Are they on pace for the best start ever? Has there been a team that started 26-1? I don't get the "with two losses" qualifier, and why that is significant. If it's the best start ever, say so. All I know is that the Celtics are ridiculously good and they beat the ever-loving shitcakes out of bad teams. Which brings us to tonight's game.

The last time the Celtics played the Knicks the Knicks had all kinds of smack to talk after the game. We were all very impressed with their street smarts, their terrifying demeanor, and tough "trash" talk. As soon as Quentin Richardson started his postgame interview last time I locked all the doors in my house, and now I pee myself on reflex whenever I see Moesha. Well, those street toughs backed up that smack talk tonight, as Scal rained threes on their sorry asses in another soul-destroying rout. I'm sure if the game was played in the terrifying neighborhoods in which they grew up in it would have been a completely different story... much like if the game was played with a 35-pound medicine ball instead of a basketball it would have been a completely different story. To recap, Quentin Richardson is dumb.

Rondo was, again, the best player for the Celtics, or the other team. He was all over the place, especially in the third, driving by whoever was guarding him and tossing in easy layups. I loved his postgame quote from the ESPN recap:

The Knicks trailed 69-63 before Rondo took advantage of some poor interior defense, driving past defenders -- mostly Chris Duhon and Quentin Richardson -- for layups and all of Boston's points in a 10-4 run that put the Celtics ahead by 12.

He was 12-of-14 from the floor for the game.

"I think eight of them were layups. So, hah, I make my layups," Rondo said.

Yes he does. The Celtics can break the franchise record for wins in a row (now that's a record!) if they can beat the Sixers at home on Tuesday. Go C's, and hopefully everyone traveling for the holidays will do better than Big Baby. Feel better, Baby!

EDDY CURRY SUED BY CASUAL MALE

NO, "CASUAL MALE" ISN'T THE MALE EXOTIC DANCER THAT JASON CAFFEY, GARY PAYTON AND SAM CASSELL ROUGHED UP IN TORONTO BACK IN THE DAY

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

When Eddy Curry wasn't wearing his Bulls uniform, he favored $1,400 cashmere sweaters and $350 dress shirts, a lawsuit filed Wednesday alleges.

Curry racked up a bill of more than $41,000 at Casual Male Retail Group, and two years later it remains unpaid, the suit says.

The company says Curry owes an additional $5,424 in interest from his 2006 shopping sprees.

''It's just a matter of him buying clothing he didn't pay for,'' said Edward Margolis, the attorney representing Casual Male and Jared M. Custom Clothing, a business popular with professional athletes that once was owned by Casual Male.

Margolis confirmed that the defendant was the former Bulls player, who is on the New York Knicks' roster.

Purchases on Curry's shopping trips, which occurred between January and April 2006, included $22,000 in suits, eight sweaters ranging from a $750 wool crew-neck to a $1,390 cashmere V-neck and more than $3,700 in ties.

First, a word for the wise, don't Google Image search for "Casual Male" because I'm sure it will bring up all kinds of shenanigans. Actually, Casual Male is a clothing store for exceptionally large men both in girth and in height. Don't google that last sentence either.

Casual Male is an amusing name for a store, but it still pales in comparison to my favorite chain: The Dress Barn. Man, I love that place. It's a store where cows, slampigs, and alien horse faces can go and be hosed down before getting some hunk of fabric roped to their disgusting fat bodies. What self-respecting HUMAN BEING want to shop at a BARN!? Coming soon: a healthy new fast food option- The Slop Trough.

BP Getting All Kinds of Gibberish About Jerome Moiso in his Google Alerts

I love my Google alerts. "NBA" + "arrested" provides me with almost daily amusement. "Dino Radja" provides me with daily confusion. "Jerome Moiso" provides a steady stream of (for me) incomprehensible gibberish. Since he has played in several countries, the alerts come in all kinds of languages, which I then plug into Google Translate. It doesn't help much. Here's the latest (translated from Spanish):

The downward Pops Mensah-Bonsu will be covered eventually by the French Jérôme Moïso pivot, who signed with the Penya until end of season


MORE INFORMATION

* Pau Gasol will DJ for a Day

Drafting

The pivot of 30 years and 2.11 stature of the contract settlement that has linked him to Khimki, Russian club who currently trains the Italian Sergio Scariolo, to return to Chennai.

The player and his family are planning their arrival at Barcelona this Sunday at 1330 hours and its debut is scheduled for Dec. 28 at the Palau Olimpic before the High Management Fuenlabrada.

Jérôme Moïso has left the Khimki after not having minutes of play until the arrival of the team Scariolo. French was the number one objective of DKV Joventut to replace Pops Mensah Bonsu.

The team led by Sito Alonso will win the internal potential with the presence of Moses, a pivot agile than last year rennet in Badalona his best season after arriving in Europe in the 2006-2007 season from the NBA.

In his first season in the old continent, Moses played on three teams: the Lottomatica Roma, the Fortitudo Bologna and Real Madrid. With the Spanish team won the CBA League.

After training at the university of UCLA was selected by Boston in position 11 of the NBA draft in 2001. In the American professional league played in Boston, Charlotte / New Orleans, Toronto, and New Jersey.

The random link about Pau Gasol DJ'ing only for one day is particularly tantalizing. I also like how they refer to Moiso as "Moses." I guess it's fitting, if by "Moses" they are referring to the guy that was leading everyone around aimlessly in the desert for a couple decades. We could probably flesh out this comparison a little further if we wanted to- but I think the metaphor breaks down once you think that the bondage that we were in (under Pharoah Pitino)... Moiso didn't deliver us. Anyway, if anyone can tell me what the hell is going on with the Rick Pitino's prized draft pick from this gibberish, or you can read Spanish (less impressive) please pass it along.

IN SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS, CELTICS DESTROY CHICAGO BULLS

THIS PICTURE IS WEIRD

PERKINS TAKES A TURN GOING F***** APESHIT AND THROWS IN A CAREER-HIGH 25 POINTS; RONDO HAS 15 ASSISTS; RAYRAY POPS OFF FOR 27; TONY ALLEN HAS THE BEST DUNK OF THE YEAR FOR THE C'S IN GARBAGE TIME

Not a lot to report here, it was a pretty easy victory for the Celtics. Rondo was on point again, Perkins was dumping in every putback, and Ray Ray was $$$ from distance. The Celtics shot 59% from the floor and from the third quarter on, per usual during this streak, it was all Celtics. I was impressed, watching it on my Slingbox per usual, at how many people were at the game despite the massive snowstorm.

There were only 2,661 no-shows scared away by the first major storm of the winter. Snow started falling in the afternoon and scared most drivers off the roads for the evening rush hour; most employers and schools sent people home early.

Rivers arranged for downtown hotel rooms for his players and encouraged them to stay in the city between the morning shootaround and the game. Many took him up on it, he said, and none had any trouble making it to the arena.

Many of the fans also cleared out before it was over to get an early start home, but Pierce was impressed that they came at all.

"This is Boston. This is not going to stop them,'' the Los Angeles native said. "I saw a guy jogging today - in shorts.''

The question is this, Keytown, did you at least give Paul a thumbs up as he drove past you?

Jason Caffey Update

The latest installment in the Jason Caffey saga has- wait for it- landed him in court! The dude that drives a $350,000 car while not paying child support on his estimated 10 kids with 8 different women recently filed for Chapter 11. Now he's going to court, accused of forging signatures on documents to sell off property - wait for it - to satisfy a negotiated child support settlement! Why he would need to forge these signatures... I don't know... but this is also a guy that once allegedly assaulted a male exotic dancer in Toronto with Sam Cassell and Gary Payton. If you hate yourself, you can watch all the videos put out by the allegedly assaulted parties on Youtube. Let's just say that there were no winners, definitely no winners, in that debacle. Anyway, onto the latest Caffey news:

Former pro basketball player Jason Caffey has been hit with a lawsuit accusing him of using forged signatures on legal documents to transfer property.

The lawsuit, filed in Mobile County Circuit Court, also names the woman to whom rental properties were transferred, as well as the notary public who witnessed the transaction and the title company that handled the refinancing of the properties.

Caffey put up the properties as part of a negotiated settlement in a child-support case.

The plaintiff, Nicole Carter, is one of at least eight women with whom Caffey has had children, according to court records.

He battled with many of them in court over unpaid child support and filed for bankruptcy protection last year to avoid jail on a contempt charge in Tuscaloosa for failure to pay child support.

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Margaret A. Mahoney dis missed the bankruptcy in October after concluding Caffey could not present a confirmable Chapter 11 plan. That freed the women to seek sanctions against him in state courts.

When describing Caffey's children, you must start with an "at least" or an "estimated." His ongoing battle to keep his #1 deadbeat NBA dad douchebag has been truly inspired... he is basically a lock to be the first man to appear in the IHeartCeltics "Top NBA Crimes of the Year" three times in a row for basically the same crime. I'm not going to say that he's DEFINITELY going to make that list, but forging documents to sign over properties to pay off a child support settlement for an estimated 10 kids with 8 different women in several different states..... that gets quite a few points for creativity. We here at IHeartCeltics wish him the worst of luck in his upcoming trials.

LUDACRIS PRANCES; KG IMPLORES HAWKS TO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP; CELTICS WIN 16th IN A ROW

LUDACRIS POWERLESS AGAINST THE MACHINE

Atlanta understands matchups- they know that they are far more young and athletic than the Celtics and they exploit that advantage. They also know that Boston has a serious hip-hop deficiency, so they brought out Ludacris to perform at halftime. It was intimidating, to be sure, for LESSER MORTALS. Not for our homeboy, #1 NBA jackass and NBA champion, Kevin Garnett.

I don't think there are many people out there that contend that KG isn't clutch, but if there are, I would be willing to bet that they also are 9/11 conspiracy theorists and believe that aliens assassinated President Kennedy. Meaning, you have to be either a narcissistic, logic-hating troglodyte or mentally ill to believe that KG isn't clutch. As a big man, he has a supreme disadvantage when it comes to being "clutch" because the NBA in the final seconds is all about running the clock down to three seconds, making a move, and shooting a fadeaway. Still! When he has his opportunities, he gets it done, and I challenge you- nay, I DEFY you - to find a big man that is more clutch than KG.

Case in point, last night, in Atlanta, with Atlanta ALL KRUNKED UP for this game, KG was shooting 2-10 from the floor... until crunch time, when he went 5-5 and won the game for the Celtics. Sure, it's Atlanta. Sure, it's the regular season. However, this was an intense game and we all know that the Celtics struggle against the Hawks. (It's all about matchups, peeps!)

Rondo had another outstanding game, Perk stuffed four shots, and the starters had to do all of the heavy lifting (only 13 points from the bench, and the Hawks only played 8!).

Great win for the Celtics. Even though the Hawks embarrassed the Celtics in the first round last year and got all up in their domepieces, the C's weren't intimidated last night and got the job done. It was a statement game, in a week nobody will remember that Joe Johnson could have tied it up with a free throw.

Go C's, go power companies.

After painstaking deliberation, I Heart Celtics submits its vote for Eastern Conference All Stars

RONDO'S BETTER

GOES APESHIT IN FINAL 6 MINUTES EN ROUTE TO CAREER-HIGH 25 POINTS TO GO WITH 9 REBOUNDS, 8 ASSISTS, AND THREE STEALS

Rondo should be in the All-Star game, we all know it, and hopefully everyone else now knows it thanks to his mug all over the ESPN front page stripping Deron Williams.

The arguments against Rondo being an All-Star are asinine. My favorite is the argument that he doesn't have a jump shot... when he's shooting 51% from the floor. Would these idiots rather he was shooting jump shots like Allen Iverson (40% from the floor this year), Jason Kidd (career 40% from the floor, and just barely), Paul Pierce (39% from the floor this year) or Tracy McGrady (39% from the floor this year)? Isn't the whole point to MAKE your shots, from wherever it is you shoot them? I understand that a jump shot supposedly makes you a complete player, but if Rondo would rather take it to the cup, and it's working, why hold that against him?

My second favorite is the argument that he has a great team, so he can't help but be great. Yeah... I'm sure Matt Maloney would have been just as good for the Celtics. Honestly... how much better do these HATERS need Rondo to play in order to convince them that he's a top-flight point? The answer is that these people are arrogant know-nothing douches that wouldn't know good basketball if it put on a leather mask, broke into their house, ripped open the curtain while they were in the shower, and smacked them in the face with a morning star.

As for the game, it was a good one for the C's. What was strange was that down the stretch it was Rondo and Perk that preserved the Celtics' lead against the hard-charging Jazz. The Jazz are a well-coached team that is getting better as the season wears on, so it was nice to see the Celtics take what the Jazz were giving them defensively and win a tight game.

It was a little freaky to see Paul clutching his knee there at the end, but he didn't seem to worried, and after seeing the replay, neither was I. Let's just say that we've seen this before... only the last time this happened he had to be taken off the court in a wheelchair whilst crying and then returned ten minutes later to torch the Lakers in the NBA Finals.... and then play the rest of the series without a problem. Regardless, hope he bounces back soon.

UP NEXT (updated)
@the Hawks Wednesday, then the Bulls, on Friday. SLAUGHTERHOUSE

CHAOS IN NBA

This season has been crazy in the coconut. Time to get caught up...

-Celtics are 22-2, but more shocking are the Cavs, who are 20-4

-Chairman Yi is leading KG in the All-Star voting, but the Celtics could potentially put four players into the All-Star game (vote for Rondo, homies and homegirls!)

-Dikembe Mutumbo wants to come out of retirement to play with the Celtics, and Stephon Marbury is trying to negotiate a buyout sans agent and then sign with the C's

-Back to KG, everyone outside of Boston apparently now thinks he is a complete dick, breaking the 2004 Red Sox record for "Speed in which nationwide goodwill turns into nationwide contempt"

-Antoine Walker expects to be bought out today and wants to join a contender (like the Celtics)

-Maurice Cheeks was fired by the Sixers, who spent a bajillion dollars on Elton Brand and Andre Iguodala in the offseason with ZERO results

-The Toronto Raptors have signed frikkin' Jake Voskuhl

-Steve Nash is bitching about trading Raja Bell/Boris Diaw for Jason Richardson. Why so upset, Steve, are you nostalgic for the days of Raja sexually assaulting Kobe for 40mpg in the playoffs while Kobe scores 40 points and beats the Suns?

-Darius Miles has signed with Memphis. "Perfect Score 2: Electric Bugaloo" rumored to be in pre-production as a result.

CELTICS TAKE POSEY AND THE REST OF THE HORNETS TO POUND TOWN

Even though it was an away-home back to back, the Celtics were able to take it pretty easy against the Wizards last night and they played just well enough to beat the Hornets tonight at home. Despite only getting a "A" games from Pierce, Perk and KG, really, the C's pulled away in the second half to win 94-82. The Hornets, despite being the quote unquote "sexy" pick to start the year according to every blowhard basketball journalist, none of which appears to have any idea what the word "sexy" means, the Hornets didn't strike me as a very dangerous-looking team. (Granted, they were without Tyson Chandler.) Bill Simmons wrote a week or so ago about the crappy body language on the Hornets... and I guess it was just a matter of time. Celtics fans remember what a tremendous douche, even in NBA terms, Byron Scott was when he was with the Nets. He's one of the least likable coaches in the league from a personality standpoint. He sets the gold standard for pettiness. He makes the most shrill bloggers look like dignified statesmen. Additionally, it's not as though he's a brilliant tactician, either, unless having the best point guard in the league run the team while you stand with a sour-ass expression on your face and your arms folded makes you the Erwin Rommel of the NBA.

Tonight was one of those nights similar to watching the Celtics-Blazers game a couple days ago... with the Blazers, there was all this talk about the Blazers being THE up-and-coming team... but then they start Steve Blake? Tonight, when the players were giving each other dap before the tipoff tonight, I was thinking, "Really? Peja, Rasual Butler, and Hilton Armstrong? What the F!? Are we serious!?"

Now I know that people think that about Rondo and Perk every night, somewhat justifiably, and I know Tyson Chandler was out, but the Hornets only have three players, Chandler included, that should be doing 30+ minutes a night at this point. Granted, all three of those players could be All-Stars in the right season, but the team as a whole is lacking something... I don't know the team well enough to diagnose it... oh wait a minute, I do. THEY START PEJA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. This is a team that needs some more perimeter talent, stat. Oh, and a coach that isn't a complete dick. I know Nic and Keytown were at the game tonight, maybe they can shed some light on the situation.

I wound up feeling badly for Posey once he had his ring and the game was underway, there's NO WAY he'd rather be on the Hornets than the Celtics right now. Oh well, we still love him, and always will. Congrats and thanks again for the title, Posey, I grant you one week of not mentioning your hilarious drunken parking arrest on this blog as a thank you/Christmas/birthday present.

The Celtics get a much-deserved weekend off, resuming against the all-over-the-frikkin-place Jazz on Monday.

MIKE JAMES AND JAVARIS CRITTENTON'S TRICKS ARE USELESS; CELTICS OBLITERATE WIZARDS

This was the first game of the season I was able to witness in the flesh, in a three-quarter full Verizon Center of half dorky-looking Celtics fans, one quarter weird dudes talking to me about his latest 50 mile race, and one quarter belligerent drunken Wizards fans. Two wannabe Wizards thugs even roughed up a pudgy middle aged Celtics fan right next to us.

My companion for this fine contest will remain anonymous, but let's just say his name rhymes with Spaniel Goo On Ya. This man is a fine lad with whom I am well pleased.

Here are some in-person observations about the C's:

1) Their offense, I dare say, looks a lot better than last year. Rondo is far more confident and he is WAY more aggressive pushing the ball in transition. Remember last year, when we were complaining for three quarters of the season about how Doc would never let Rondo push the ball? I barely do, either, because Rajon was tearing up and down the floor tonight. The ball was out of his hands quickly, the offense was moving quickly, and the ball was constantly in motion. He also hit a nice jumper in perfect stride, instead of hitting a do-you-think-he'll-shoot-it-oh-dear-God-no-woah-he-actually-made-it herkey jerky miracle shot.

2) Paul Pierce is far more mature this year than last. Last year he got into pissing matches with Caron Butler and wound up ruining the Celtics offense single-handily. This year, even after stuffing Butler at the buzzer to end the first half, he just jogged off the court. While his 39% from the floor does concern me a bit, he's taking good shots and I'm sure he'll come around.

3) Ray Allen has found another good way to score points- transition! Amazing how this works. Last year the Celtics had trouble finding Jesus some good looks. He played well, but he didn't totally fit on the team (consistently) until the NBA Finals. This year, with Rondo pushing the ball, he gets a lot of good looks in transition and he's having a great year as a result.

4) Perkins threw down a sick dunk on JaVale McGee. (However, JaVale looks like he was a very good pick, even for a dude that makes Travis Knight look like Brock Lesnar.) Anyway, Perk didn't have to play that much but you do notice him a lot more when you see the games in person. Other teams seem to take a lot more jump shots with him in the lineup- I wish there was some kind of statistic to check this out.

5) Javaris Crittenton got a raw deal... his line of 6 minutes, 4 turnovers may be the stuff of legend. I am sure Basketbawful will take notice. However! First things first, it was his first game with the team. Second, the Wizards coach didn't leave the bench for the entire game. Third, if you watch the tape, and I'm sure some nerd out there will, at least three of those turnovers weren't his fault. He'd take it to the lane, look to dish... but everyone was cutting AWAY from the basket! It was especially striking and disturbing in contrast to the Celtics, who were all cutting to the basket no matter who had the ball (KG and PP had 7 and 6 assists, respectively). I didn't blame Javaris, the offensive sets he was running for the first time made no sense whatsoever. He would dribble, his teammates would scatter. What the hell!

6) KG had a good night, but three of his five awful turnovers were lazy-ass passes that led to steals by the always plucky and opportunistic Juan Dixon. I was going to say that KG's horrible lollygagging bounce passes that were easily stolen were the only bad things about the Celtics' performance, then I remembered that Scal got stuffed at the buzzer by Dominic McGuire. (Also, let the record show that Scal had a block that was not recorded in the box score.)

7) I would say that I wished the Celtics had a savvy veteran like Juan Dixon to back up Rondo, but Eddie House went 4-5 from deep and I think he has the quickest release in the game. Plus, Gabe could play 20mpg for most teams in the NBA, right now.

8) In garbage time, Big Baby hit two contested 20-foot jumpers. I didn't think he had it in him, and I was glad to see that he did, because unless he sheds 20 pounds and can actually jump he is going to get stuffed every other time he shoots. He's shooting 33% from the field and he's a 4. I would wager that he is at least in the league's top five for getting his shots blocked per minute. So, time for Big Baby to get some range, glad he's working on it.

9) Also in garbage time, our favorite Irishman Popcorn O'Bryant had a very productive day! 2 points on a nice hook shot, an offensive rebound, 2 assists and a steal. Plus, his hustle saved what would have been a Scal turnover. He was very active and the Wizards had to adjust to him on defense. I gotta say, I love Popcorn!!!

10) Absolutely dismal fantasy performances for me tonight, Nick Young didn't get anything going at all, I don't know what the hell is going on with DeShawn Stevenson, and Perk was alright in the points department but only grabbed three rebounds. Good thing they were all riding the bench... what a horror show.

That's it for now, Celtics take on James Posey n' the Hornets tomorrow. I*Heart*Celtics staffers will be in attendance, hurling racial slurs at Scal with aplomb. Go C's

CELTICS WIN STREAK IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY; WIZARDS CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS

SWING DEAL FOR TRAITOROUS FORMER CELTIC MIKE JAMES AND JAVARIS CRITTENDON; CELTICS STAFF SCRAMBLES FOR SCOUTING REPORTS ON THESE TWO RINGERS

We remember Mike James, he came out of nowhere to have a decent two-year with the Heat and then played half a season with the Celts. If you need to be re-acquainted with him, check out his fawning Wikipedia page:

The youngest of seven siblings, Mike's childhood was not without challenges. Crime, drugs, and violence troubled his neighborhood streets. Lack of social and economic opportunity made urban living grueling and difficult for Mike and his family. Undirected and uninspired, Mike found solace on the courts. More than recreation, basketball became his bloodline and a way to stay out of trouble. Mike's commitment and daily practice would soon payoff as he was invited to join the Amityville H.S. basketball squad. Unmatched and unbeatable, Mike performed extremely well. Despite his courtside accomplishments and extraordinary talent, no one believed Mike would ever play Division I basketball. Upon graduation, Mike proved every naysayer wrong when he earned a basketball scholarship to Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA.

Another nugget:

His personal motto is, "Failure is not an option".

The Celtics are screwed, I tell you. Mike James has intimate knowledge of the Celtics battle station, er, team, and is the only man capable of exploiting its one fatal yet easily accessible weakness. This is the Wizards' Super Bowl. They are going to pull out all the stops, all the trick plays, and all the gimmicks. Lord only knows what kind of shenanigans a man named Javaris can bring to the table. The Celtics win streak is now officially ON THE ROCKS.

STARBURY THINKING CELTICS!?

From Ken Berger's blog at CBS Sportsline:

* Walsh and banished guard Stephon Marbury could be back at the negotiating table this week to complete buyout talks. Walsh is believed to be considering using the roster spot to sign Patrick Ewing Jr., who excelled with the team in training camp and preseason and has been staying close to the team since then. But the Knicks' banged-up backcourt -- including a groin injury to Nate Robinson -- may compel Walsh to look for guard help. Marbury has no agent, so it is difficult to assess where he might be able to get a new contract. A person with close ties to Marbury told me Miami is the favorite, and insisted that Starbury is intent on talking with the Celtics, who could easily clear a roster spot by releasing Sam Cassell, who has a non-guaranteed contract. With a 20-2 record and designs on winning 70 regular season games and repeating as champions, I would strongly advise Danny Ainge against it.

The idea is so ludicrous that I can't help but love it. My favorite part of this story is the fact that Starbury doesn't have an agent- which has been well known for a while- but the thought of him trying to sell himself to Danny Ainge is fantastic. We complain about agents screwing over the players they represent (like the ManRam situation), but we don't often think about what mayhem would ensue if no player had a professional agent. We'd have a lot more Starbury's and Keon Clark's, that's for damn damn. Which is to say, it would be awesome.

KG is Boston's Alltime Favorite DBag

I didn't catch this during the Blazers game the other night, but Truehoop did:


KG went from running down the floor wagging his finger as Jose Calderon to getting on all fours and barking at Jerryd Bayless in just a couple short weeks. Odds are that KG is going to expose himself to Goran Dragic by mid-February at the latest.

Celtics Squeeze By Pacers; Big Baby Squeezes Jelly From Three Dozen Jelly Donuts Into His Mouth While He Cries on Sideline

The Pacers, amazingly, are good this year. How, I still don't understand. They start Rasho, who I would have sworn would playing in the Bulgarian second division if you asked me last year. Additionally, Rasho's backups are as follows: Josh McRoberts, Jeff Foster, and Roy Hibbert. Josh McRoberts' career highlight thus far has been hanging out at his mom's house with Greg Oden. Jeff Foster is basically Chris Dudley with the face of the guy that played Scarecrow in Batman Begins, and Roy Hibbert is a rookie that may be the slowest player in the NBA. And it's not as if these guys are even liabilities! In fact, they're all pretty good! Amazing.

Danny Granger is a legit stud, and I'm still a little bitter that the Celtics barely missed out on drafting him (they got Gerald Green instead, one pick later). However, Marquis Daniels basically didn't miss (11-16 from the floor). I thought I was only going to talk about Marquis Daniels this year when there was a handgun incident of some player got a horrible tattoo. (Remember, Daniels has a tattooed map of the state of Florida on his back and a dude shooting himself in the face with a shotgun on his arm. Moving on.) Anyway, Troy Murphy is a good player and a very difficult matchup (although not for the C's), and the PG combo of TJ Ford and Jarrett Jack is very good. And probably the most amazing thing about the Pacers is that their second best player is Mike Dunleavy, who despite being pale and having a Herman Munster face is a stud at the game of basketball, and he was out with an injury. The Pacers are definitely no fluke, unlike those pansy-ass Trailblazers. I don't care that their record is 7-13, if the Pacers played the Blazers 100 times this season, they would win 100 times. Don't argue with me, it's science.

That being said, you need to be a lot better than "very good" to beat the Celtics this season. I dare say that the team looks even better this year with a much-improved Rondo, Perkins, and Ray Allen (who saw that coming?). Pierce has been a little spotty but he could be relied on to drain the game-tying three in the last seconds of regulation. The combo of Powe, Tony Allen, and Eddie House coming off the bench is devastating. Two out of three of those guys, at least, will have great production in whatever amount of minutes you give them. Against the Pacers, Eddie House grabbed a huge rebound that led to the game-tying assist. I just don't see any exploitable weaknesses for Celtics' opponents. While the Celtics aren't perfect (they did give up a ton of points), they can cover up their shortcomings with schematic adjustments. I still don't think the C's have an answer for Lebron, but they have all season to figure that out.

Great win for the C's. Scals got a three, Doc drew up a nice end-of-the-game play, the C's stepped up right when they needed to, and Danny Granger, the one that got away, gave some satisfyingly bitter quotes in the postgame. The only letdown was Big Baby not reprising his crying on the bench, which has given me hours of amusement. Nobody's perfect, and Scals promised me via text message after the game that he was going to steal Big Baby's Nutter Butters at halftime of the Wizards game on Thursday.

Brandon Roy's Punkass Gets Embarrassed; Big Baby Cries, Celtics Cruise to 11th Straight Over Most Overhyped Team in the Universe

First things first- Brandon Roy might be a young star, but talking smack during live play to Paul Pierce, the defending Finals MVP, is Spike-Lee-on-the-sidelines lame. You're not MJ, Larry Bird, Gary Payton or even a 39-year-old Sam Cassell. Even Sam-I-Am shoots better than 3-11 from the field and his vertical leap at this point makes Greg Ostertag look like Harold Minor. Sure, Roy nailed a nice turnaround after talking smack, which must have felt good for those two seconds, but his team still lost by 15. I don't get the Blazers, the team is full of "potential" players that make Chad Ford cream his pants, but they still start Steve Blake at point, and Greg Oden amazingly fouled out in 18 minutes. Brandon Roy is pretty much their only real option on offense, they have a team full of young athletic third or fourth bananas. Plus, I know that Greg Oden is a rookie but if he's been playing his whole life and he's 7 feet tall and 300+ pounds and that's what he is today........... um....... good thing they have LaMarcus. It also might not hurt to have a veteran or two on that team, Portland front office, and preferably a veteran that is not Steve Blake. Or the Vanilla Godzilla.

Anyway, the Celtics did what they have been doing during this whole streak, keep the game close through halftime, lay the hammer down, and then.... yell at Big Baby in a team huddle!?

In case you missed it, in other hilarious news, Big Baby cried like a little girl (no hyperbole) after Kevin Garnett yelled at him in a team huddle with the game pretty much decided. Please, please, SOMEBODY tell me what KG said to him that made him cry. Judging from Gabe Pruitt's completely disinterested expression sitting next to that blubbering bag of goo, this isn't out of character for the Baby Huey. I get the impression that Gabe Pruitt hears Big Baby cry several times a day, about completely inconsequential shit, because if that tubby behemoth was sobbing next to me you can bet your ass I would be staring. Gabe couldn't care less. We've heard some grumblings from Celtics camp that Big Baby is a prima donna, we know for a fact he's never in shape. Perhaps KG said something horrible about Big Baby's mother. Maybe he said the unthinkable- that modeling your NBA career after WWF great Yokozuna is a terrible idea. (That sound you hear is Nic crying.) I don't know. But all signs point to Big Baby being a Gigantic Pussy and please let me be the first to issue the clarion call to all Celtics fans to find the testicles Big Baby lost sometime during the NBA Finals victory celebration. We want the old Baby back.

UPDATE: Here's the Youtube video, while it lasts...

Make It 11.

The last time the Celtics had an 11 game win-streak, Greg Oden had yet to been conceived, Doc Rivers was ripping it up in Atlanta, and Scal was still pooping the bed.( He was 8 years old at this point.) While its usually blasphemy to make any comparison to the 86' Celtics, I can't help thinking that the 2008 edition could roll with them.


Their latest victim was the Portland Trail Blazers. In what has become a routine storyline for Celtics games, Portland came out strong, looking to make a statement against the Champs. As always, the Celtics played it cool until the 3rd Quarter, when the beat-down commenced. They opened up almost a 20 point lead in the 3rd and handed the game over to Big Baby, Leone and the rest of the bench. The bench showed flashes of brilliance, but deep into the forth they had a mental lapse and the lead fell down to 13. Despite the lead Doc was not happy, calling a timeout where he said not one word to his team, and remained sitting on the bench. The starters rallied the team, re-entering the game more pissed-off than ever. The Blazers, still down by 13, must have wondered what they did to provoke such intensity. They spent the rest of the game trying not to get killed. Rondo dropped a few sick dimes, Perk assaulted the boards, and within a minute the game was back out of reach.


Whether its a tight game with the Lakers or torturing the Blazers when they're up double digits, this Celtics team only knows how to play balls to the wall. Tonight's game was a perfect example of this. Let's hope they can keep it up without burning out.
The Celtics meet the Pacers again on Sunday. While my mother told me not to bet against Rasho Nesterivic, I think the Celtics still have the Pacers number and should have number 12 in the bag.

Larry Legend, Consider Yourself RONDO'D

Coming into last nights game everything was good in Indiana. Sure, they have a losing record, but with Danny Granger blossoming like a 16 year-old Hannah Monatana, the Pacers had just knocked off the red-hot Lakers and were getting better everyday. That is until they ventured into the Garden and got the crap kicked out of them by Rajon Rondo. Rondo's line for the night was:16 points, 17 assists, and 13 rebounds. The last time we saw a triple-double like that in a Celtics uniform was when Vin Baker scored 12 points, drank 26 Miller High Life's after the game, ending the evening vomiting on 12 different strippers.

While Rondo got all the props its hard to say that he stole the show. K-Perk had a night of his own with 16 points 10 boards. Then there was KG who after getting alley-oops from Rondo on basically every play, finished the night with 26 points, 14 boards. And then there was Ray Allen who had 31 points hitting 6 three's. Pierce finished the night with a lame-ass 16 points 5-rebounds.

That makes 10 in a row for the C's. They've lost 1 game at home. Under normal circumstances I would be pretty worried considering how frickin' good both the Cavs and Lakers are, but no one is playing as good as the Celtics. Perk and Rondo get better every day and there is no team with better chemistry. This is shaping up to be a pretty sick NBA season, and if it continues at this rate, could be one of the best post-seasons ever. Just don't expect to see the Pacers in it.

Rodney Rogers Paralyzed

After crashing in a freak 4-wheeler accident, former Celtic Rodney Rogers was parylized from the shoulders down as
SLAM reports.
Rodney was a key member of the Celtics 2002 conference finals miracle team. EVeryone here at iheartceltics wishes Rodney and his family the best.