Howie Long is a Colossal Douchebag
I am not one of those dudes that has a sticker of Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo in the back of my car, but these Howie Long commercial spots that are all over every televised basketball game are driving me to pee on Chevy trucks myself. Who needs Calvin? Who does this Howie Long troglodyte think he is, accosting strangers in parking lots and insulting their trucks?
Here's the first one. Is Howie Long really in the position to be insulting other people's man-steps?
Here's a hardworking dude, using a convenient step on the back of his pickup, and here comes Howie Long with his flat top and sarcastic attitude. What's wrong with having a man-step? You can conveniently walk into your truck bed? What's the alternative, taking a running start and doing your best Edwin Moses imitation? Crawling into it like you're storming the beach and crawling for cover at Normandy? What's wrong with a step? Something about it isn't manly, according the Minister of Manliness, Howie Long. "Hey, you left your man-step down!" To which this dude should have responded with a "f*** you" and a hail of gunfire.
Howie certainly looks tough coming out of nowhere to dis a hardworking yet schlubby white guy with a bad beard. I wonder if he'd have the same confidence making fun of Stephen Jackson's man-step. Jack has opened fire on one-armed men for less than that.
Then there's the commercial where Howie walks up to a guy in the parking lot and demands to know if this guy's new truck is good on gas. First of all- what the hell? When the guy chickens out and his voice quivers a "19 highway" - Howie gives a snide remark as he steps into his Chevy Silverado. What an asshole. I am scraping the recesses of my brain to think of an actual sociopath I know that would engage is such hostile behavior. Who wants to buy something from this guy? And don't these advertisers know that when you dis the competition, you end up looking worse than them? Again, I ask of an advertiser- who is the target demographic here? Are there lots of March Madness fans that gleefully watch a windbag with a white man flattop harassing strangers about their trucks in random parking lots?
Thankfully, there's the payoff. Howie with a "big girl" pointing at his undoubtedly very manly wee wee. Well executed. You've successfully transformed your pitchman into a creepy kid-toucher.
Way to go Chevy, employ a pedophilic wiseass with a terrible haircut to troll parking lots, sarcastically mocking the much more appealing human beings driving your competition. Awesome strategy. Thank goodness you didn't leave your man-step down, or you'd really look stupid.
Here's the first one. Is Howie Long really in the position to be insulting other people's man-steps?
Here's a hardworking dude, using a convenient step on the back of his pickup, and here comes Howie Long with his flat top and sarcastic attitude. What's wrong with having a man-step? You can conveniently walk into your truck bed? What's the alternative, taking a running start and doing your best Edwin Moses imitation? Crawling into it like you're storming the beach and crawling for cover at Normandy? What's wrong with a step? Something about it isn't manly, according the Minister of Manliness, Howie Long. "Hey, you left your man-step down!" To which this dude should have responded with a "f*** you" and a hail of gunfire.
Howie certainly looks tough coming out of nowhere to dis a hardworking yet schlubby white guy with a bad beard. I wonder if he'd have the same confidence making fun of Stephen Jackson's man-step. Jack has opened fire on one-armed men for less than that.
Then there's the commercial where Howie walks up to a guy in the parking lot and demands to know if this guy's new truck is good on gas. First of all- what the hell? When the guy chickens out and his voice quivers a "19 highway" - Howie gives a snide remark as he steps into his Chevy Silverado. What an asshole. I am scraping the recesses of my brain to think of an actual sociopath I know that would engage is such hostile behavior. Who wants to buy something from this guy? And don't these advertisers know that when you dis the competition, you end up looking worse than them? Again, I ask of an advertiser- who is the target demographic here? Are there lots of March Madness fans that gleefully watch a windbag with a white man flattop harassing strangers about their trucks in random parking lots?
Thankfully, there's the payoff. Howie with a "big girl" pointing at his undoubtedly very manly wee wee. Well executed. You've successfully transformed your pitchman into a creepy kid-toucher.
Way to go Chevy, employ a pedophilic wiseass with a terrible haircut to troll parking lots, sarcastically mocking the much more appealing human beings driving your competition. Awesome strategy. Thank goodness you didn't leave your man-step down, or you'd really look stupid.
posted by BP at
4:51 PM
8 Comments:
And you can thank the tax payers and Obama for paying for this chevy commercial
And you think Howie actually WROTE the commercial? Just reading the lines that were written for him.
what u don't know or understand about American Advertising...wow..
suffice it to say....because this very dialogue is taking place...proves Chevrolet knows how to put a ad together...odd u don't know this...hope u get it now...
as for Howie Long...this man has the saddest life i have ever known...and im referring to his childhood when he came home from school...8 yrs old...and the house was empty...his 'parents' left him to fend for himself.
talk about a self made man..he is the real deal..and he is a bright man...he majored in communications while attending Villa Nova..on full scholarship...and the rest of his life...just got better..for that is how he designed it...and his wife..is most likely his biggest fan..kyle is in the dog house...from his DUI..and Chris...emulates his father in any way he can...and the quarterback in the family..howie jr, is his own man...finding his own success without football...
ease up on howie long...he has done nothing to cause you any harm.
Dear Howie, I am a 56 y/o half broken man but if I see you in one more chevy commercial, I'm gonna find out where you live, wait outside till you leave, go up to the front door, and punch your wife right in the face.
To think the consumer is absolutely dumb. We don't want American Cars! Pure junk. Honda, is not effected by your stupid commercial attempting to convince americans that an american car is better - quality wise then a japanese car. Oh yeah, were going to believe that. How about you believe this Howie, and GM. Your cars fall apart after a few years. Japanese cars last!
If Long had any brains he wouldn't be in the position to have to do these idiotic commercials. If GM had any brains we wouldn't be paying for their stupidity.
These moronic commercials typify the true character of the company I.E. Chicken Shit!
When Howie comes on, I use my recall button it works faster. He disapears in a snap. As for the 'man step' boy did that backfire. Ford said they loved it. People were flocking to Ford dealerships like the poparazzi chasing Britney Spears. I'd love for Howie to make fun of a cowgirl driving an F-150 or a Ram. I know some that ride rodeo bulls. Good luck with that Howie.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that can't stand HL. He comes across as an ass in his commercials as well as on Fox football. He may have had a rough childhood, but he acts very condescending.
BTW, to the poster a few posts up, so just because we are talking about a commercial (even tho we HATE said commercial), that is seen as a successful ad? So, i.e., let's annoy the tv watcher so much that they will remember our ad and we've done our job? (Rolls eyes).
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