As another mediocre Celtics season came to an end this year, us Celtics fans, as usual, have slid into our summer depression as we count the days to November. This year has been especially hard on us as we sat back and watched
our good old friend Antoine Walker win a championship for another team. With the trend of failure this team has seen in recent years it comes as no surprise that fans were quick to poo poo on Danny's off season aquisitions.
With all the pesimism in the air, as the start of the new season rapidly approaches it is even more important this year that Celtics fans get off their apathy and support the team more than ever. We will be watching a fresh and exciting new team next season, so it is only fitting that we rededicate ourselves to the Celtics in a fresh and exciting new way. What should we do you ask? Watch more games? Buy another Paul Pierce jersey? Get my hair cut like Dickerson and Tanguay? While all of those things are good idea, this year I want fans to make a real commitment to their team. We're all Celtics fans for life, so why don't we do something that shows that? I'm talkin' about CELTICS TATTOOS! That's right gang, I'm proposing that we permanently scar our epidermis in a way that supports the Celtics . Now I know you're all thinking, "Has he gone bannanas?" But I didn't just suggest it. I've already done it. You may think of me as a top notch sports journalist, but beneath all the awards and bling, I'm just a hardcore Celtics fan just like you. So last week I took a camera crew down to the local tattoo parlor and got every conceivable Celtics tattoo I could think of. It cost me quite a bit of money and skin pigment, but I managed to get some fresh new tatts that will fuel some enthusiasm for the 2007 season! So take a look at my bod, save your allowance, and beg mom to take you to the tattoo parlor.

The easiest idea you can use for a Celtics tattoo is to simply replicate a tattoo that a current player alredy has. While the current Celtics roster actually has relatively few tatts, one player we can always count on to keep it real is Delonte West. As a fellow red head, I decided to get his "REDZ" tatoo to give props to my boy Delonte.




Also, for the extra hardcore Delonte fans out there like myself, you might want to splurge for the Delonte "lip-discoloration" tatoo.



For the best player replica tattoos you would probably have to go back to the 2002 Celtics. Who better to start with than the heart and sole of that Eastern Conference Championship team, Eric Williams. The self-proclaimed "Original Creation,"
no Celtics fan could forget the giant "O" and "C" he tattooed on his shoulders. Not only did Eric have great tattoos but he embodied the grind it out, lockdown defense that made that Celtics team so effective. He didn't need to look glamorous, heck he didn't even need depth perception, but he always got the job done so I had to give him some love.




While the Lakers had "Superman" Shaquile O'Neal, the 2002 Celtics had their own bigman superhero in Tony "Batman" Battie. Tony had the Batman insignia tattooed on his upper arm with "Battie Forever" ingraved around it. While Batman was never as strong or dominant as Superman, we all know thatt Battie had the heart of 10 Shaqs and for that I decided to get this Battie tattoo.



After I finished getting my favorite players tatts done, I had to think of original ways to pay my respects to the tatt-less players. First on the list was Paul Pierce of course. Paul was a tough one because as he is so dominant on the court of the court, yet so quiet and reserved off the court. Because of that, I decided to do something simple and tattoo the Paul Pierce trademark green headband on my forehead. While it won't help me much in job interviews and probably not go over so well with the ladies, I will never have to buy another headband and I will always in be dressed for game time.



If it were up to me I would have a portrait tattoo of every Celtic that ever played, but even with my giant bod, I still only have so much room to work with. This meant I had to be selective when picking who to tattoo from the current roster. Naturally I jumped straight to the Scalabrine tattoos. Many people don't know this but Scal actually has a giant tattoo on his upper back. I made some calls and found the actual tattoo parlor where he got it done. I walked right in there and said to the man, "Sir, give me the veal special!" Hours later I looked in the mirror to find this masterpiece tattooed on my skin.



For all the real Scal-a-holics out there who really want to show your devotion to the big red machine, you might want to consider the "Scalabrine Nipples Tattoo," as well.



Last season the Celtics traded away old friends Ricky Davis and Mark Blount to Minnesota, but to me they are still a part of the team. In order to show my appreciation for their time with the Celts I had tattoos done in their honor. For my main man Tyree "Ricardo" Davis, I had Ricky Davis facial hair tattooed on my face. Ricky battled a bad repuation and overcame a lot of adversity to show the league he could play like an all-star. He also had kick-@ss side burns.



In his contract year with the Celtics, Mark Blount played like a champ. After he got that contract he played like a junior varsity girl. He pouted, he cried, and most importantly he dogged it on defense and rebounding. In order to show my appreciation to our buddy Mark, I had this tattoo done.



If there is one thing that most embodies the spirit of the Celtics, it is the sense of history and tradition within the organization. So naturally I couldn't leave the tattoo parlor without paying my respect to the players of the past.
What better place to start than the dominant Celtics teams of the 80's. The first person that came to mind of course is Larry Legend. While no tattoo could do the Bird man justice, I decided to honor him by tattooing a Larry Bird Mustache on my face.




One player from the 80's that often gets overlooked is Dennis Johnson. People give all the credit to the big 3, but DJ was equally important to those championship teams. I had the "Dennis Johnson freckles tattoo" done to show DJ my appreciation.



Finally I decided to give mad props to the "Chief" Robert Parish. One of the best fast break big man to ever play the game, the Chief was there through it all. Despite a coke problem here and an illigitamate child there, the Cheif had an amazing career playing solid basketball all the way into his early 60's. I had this tatt custom made for the Cheif to pay my respect and at the same time send a good message to the kids.



Then there is Mr. Bill Russell, the most underated 11-time World Champion ever. This guy understood things about the game of basketball that people today still can't comprehend. If he had the chance, Russell would have sprinkled Jordan on his Wheaties and ate him for breakfast. He would have gone Shaq-Fu on the "Big Aristotle." He would have sent LeBron back to Akron in a body bag. The greatest player ever to play the game period. Interesting fact about Bill was that he refused to sign autographs. Not for a fan, not for a teamate, not even for the league. Tom Heinshon used to have to forge his signature for team promotional signings. Bill thought they were stupid. He felt it was more meaningful for fan to shake his hand or have a conversation with him than get some stupid piece of paper. Well when his book came out a couple years back, I went to his book signing and actually got his autograph. After aquiring such a rare piece if Celtics paraphernalia, I thought it was only fitting to have it tattooed on my neck.



If Russell and Bird were saviors to the Celtics, that would leave only one man to play god God- Arnold "Red" Auerbach. The figure behind the Celtics dynasty. He had a hand in each of their 16 championships- an accomplishment no other coach, manager, or player has reached in any sport. When his players went to war, he was right there leading the charge. This is the man who once got in Wilt Chamberlin's face and dared him to take a swing. While Red will forever have a place in my heart, I also dedicated a large portion of my back to him.



While Red started a traditon of great Celtics coaches, their luck ran out of steam in the 90's. The biggest skid on their tighties being the hiring of Rick Pitino. A great coach in college, his stint with the Celtics was uglier than Travis Knight in a bikini. He did a lot of talking and even more losing. I also hold a personal grudge against the man after reading his self help book for an 8th grade book report that I got a C on. I did however love watching Bob Lobel ruthlessly rip into him on a weekly basis on the Rick Pitino show. Neither of these endevors did much to improve his public image as a giant
D-Bag. For my good time buddy Rick, I had this done.



With so many tatoos for so many great Celtics, my last tatoo is dedicated to an important man in the Celtics organization that isn't even a part of the team. He isn't a player, he's not even a coach. That's right, I'm talking about "Lucky" the Celtics mascot. Despite the fact that Zang Aurebach, the Artist behind the Celtics logo, would have most definently puked his brains out if he ever saw what his creation had become, Lucky still brings a lot to the table. He's got some nasty slam dunks, he entertains the kiddies, and he's got awesome giant neon Celtics hands. Well to show the world just how much I adore our beloved little mascot, I decided to get a very special tatoo just for Lucky!